What this past year taught me (beauty in chaos)

It's true. Each moment flies by a little faster as you get older. Or maybe the moments are just blurrier because we're constantly chasing mosters that are less than 36 inches tall. I don't know, but either way can we just pause for a moment and wonder where the h e double hockey stick 2013 went?!!?

instagram @love_laurabeth

 



Crazy town that 2014 is upon us. From what I remember, 2013 was great and I'm thankful for the visual reminder that technology can provide. This year was truly a year of transformation for me.

This year I became OKAY with the fact that my post partum anxiety will not be going away. The little red devil is here to stay. But. BUT. BUT! This year I learned to accept that sometimes, God's Grace comes in the form of a little white pill. He Loves Me. EVERY PART OF ME. and I'm so grateful for His grace. I plan on sharing a lot more of this secret struggle more in 2014.

This year I finally got rid of the weight that was holding me down. Those 45 pounds that I was holding on to were preventing me from living the life I wanted.  Facing my insecurities, naming them out loud, and deciding that God and I were going to do this TOGETHER were what helped me begin. Feeling success, weight watchers online, Godfit devotions, and running were what kept me going.

Goals for 2014?
I want to live FREELY in the GRACE God has extended to me. I want to live imperfectly knowing that I'm loved and that I'm able to love what's all around me. I want to listen more. I want to be a good friend. I want to have a clean house for more than 24 hours at a time. I want to eliminate the clean clothes pile in my bedroom. and I want to run a half marathon. eep!

Cheers friends!

Sticking to a Budget this Christmas. Wee. Woo.

 

Budgeting. I don't know about you but just the mere mention of that word makes me want to karate kick things and eat copious amounts of chocolate. I hate that word. Why? Because I enjoy spending money--der. Giving gifts is a love language of mine. It's how I show love--I give things to people. So Christmas time? Is the time of year that I spend ALL OF OUR MONEY and send warm, fuzzy, candy cane scented love gifts to everyone. It's a time of magic, glitter, and twinkling eyes. It's so hard for me to reign in the reckless abandonment that I have because Christmas! jingle bells! happiness! children!

Our experience with Dave Ramsey and his class Financial Peace University has taught me that sticking to a workable budget will get you out of debt and create a peace in your daily life that living with my money--to-the-wind tendencies will. not. Eleven months out of the year it isn't that  hard for me to stay on point. However when December rolls around I blow it. Big time.

and this year, it's one of my goals NOT TO.

If I stick to a budget I will avoid the after Christmas guilt of knowing that I put our family in a position that makes things tight.

If I stick to a budget I will make my husband happy. Budgets make his heart sing.

If I stick to a budget I will be proving to myself that holidays can be happy even if you don't spend all your money.

So how can I ( and maybe you too)  resolve to sticking with our budget this Christmas? 

Cash Envelopes

This year we sat down and wrote out an exact budget for each person we'd like to purchase gifts for. In the past this was more of a guideline rather than an end all be all. This year, we really need to be strict with it. So to curb my over spending tendencies we withdrew the exact amount for each person and placed it in an envelope with the receivers name on it. Yup, currently carting 13 envelopes around town #mommysizedpurseforthewin. This will prevent me from going over budget. The only way I would be able to would be dipping into someone else's gift envelope. How terrible would that be!? Sorry for the $5 gift honey.....

24 Hour Wait Period

Something happens to me when I get in the gift giving mood. I lose all sense of reason and tend to fill my bag with everything that my loved ones will love. I do this because Christmas! Glitter! Music! Candy Canes! SALE! Clearance! BOGO! Ah! Happy!  I'm a marketing dream because those shenanigans totally work with me. We talked about ways to curb this without stealing my Christmas Sunshine and came up with a plan for me not to purchase impulsive gifts immediately. Think on them for 24 hours first and if after time has passed it still would be the MOST! PERFECT! GIFT! EVER! then game on friends. Game on. I'm thinking this will help a great deal once the popcorn scent and jingle bell music is out of my head.

Avoid Guilt Add-Ons

I have a Christmas fairness police that's been hard wired into me. Christmas gifts MUST be of equal price and quality for a holiday to be successful. I get holiday gift giver anxiety over it (me, anxious?!come on now!).  It always results in me wanting to give MORE because I'd rather be the giver that spent too much, than the one that didn't spent enough. So hours and minutes before I know an exchange will take place I often run for a "quick trip" and pick up random things to UP the gift.  This means I'm spending more money and derailing the budget. again. This one I just need to stop cold turkey.

I hoping these three things will help me stay on budget this Christmas. What strategies do you use to keep on track? Mind sharing with me? I'd say I need an intervention.

November Goals

So goals. Never really been that great at them. Good intentions pave the way then procrastination and a "why bother" attitude normally end them. I'd really like to make goals and stick with them. I think goals are a great way to measure success. I think goals can keep you motivated. I like the feeling of accomplishing something. I like check marks. I just have a hard time with the middle CARRYING OUT THE PLAN part of goals.

So I'm in love with the idea of goals.

I'd like to try and work on this. Hold me accountable dear friends.  I'm making five goals this November. Sitting down on the first  brand new shiny day of this month I can tell you with complete honesty that I plan on tackling these goals. These things are gonna happen.---or  how bout' this. I'll share my deepest darkest secret with you on December 1.  Deal? Great.  Hopefully you're not going to wish me to fail to get my juicy secret. Cause it's definitely good---and I definitely don't want my friends to know let alone the internet.  But if I were in your shoes, I'd be wishing failure on you.  ((winky face))

1. Family Dinner

I want to make the things that matter MATTER MORE in my family. I believe that over time, love and stories will create a habit of commitment and truth within my people. One way to make things MATTER MORE is to reclaim the dinner table.  We do a fairly good job of this  but we could be better. I want to eat family meals from start to finish together at least 4 times a week. That shouldn't be that hard, but it is.   Do your evenings end up being a mad rush from 5:00 until bedtime in your family? Oh, mine do. The mental countdown begins around 4:30 most days and even earlier on the days my children are glorious heathens. Then dinner, husband home, eat, dishes, laundry,  playtime, tackles, chasing, sweating, falling, stripping, bathing, jammies, cuddles, bed. Most nights we compile tasks at the dinner table  i.e. dishes while the pokey's are finishing, folding laundry while eating, and even stripping naked before they've even finished their meals. I could SLOW DOWN this time and ENJOY the time together rather than quickly checking off the todos for the night. I could LISTEN to what my family has to say instead of hurrying them to EAT. YOUR. DANG. FOOD. CHILD. I could actually care about the answer my husband gives when I ask him how his day was instead of verbally vomiting on him the crisises of my own day. This month I'm gonna slow my roll.

 

2. Keep riding the weight loss train

Woooooo wooooooo.....

This November I'm going to continue losing weight. As of today I'm 8 pounds away from my goal weight! Wait! WHAT! HOLLERRRR!!! It's been hard the last few weeks as I've been having weigh ins of  +.4 , -1.0, and -.6. They aren't the big losses that I love, but slowly and surely changes are happening. My goal for November is to lose 6 pounds.  I'm also a few weeks away from running in my first. ever. race. ((that I'll hopefully finish)). 

 

3. Make a new friend

I love relationships. I love meeting new people and I get JAZZED when I'm in a room full of people. Are you like me? I like meeting people for the first time (even though I worry constantly about the first impression I give) and I really like chatting over a good cup of caffeine.  There is something exciting to me about getting to know someone and realizing  that we have fun connections or maybe that we are totally opposites. Regardless,  it's fun for me. I'd love to make a new friend this month, or at least meet someone new. Do I know YOU?   No seriously. 

4. Get a new bootie

I think I'm ready to try the bootie trend. I have loved them for several seasons but never had the cahones to purchase any. I can't resist any longer and I'm looking for a cute pair of cognac ones for under 60 bucks. If you scout some pinkie promise to tell me?

5. Empty Threats-- Stop using them

On the way home from the Children's Museum (Yes, I went back....) I made three different threats to Lilly. 

"C'mon Lilly, I'm leaving.....I'll miss you."

 Dude, I'm not leaving her....and she knows it.

 

" If  you keep acting like a baby maybe you should put a diaper back on." 

Dude, that's dumb. I annoyed myself with this one. That's a punishment to me! There's no way on God's  green Earth that I'm putting a diaper back on that butt. 

 

" Do I need to call Daddy and tell him you need a spanking when you get home?"

Dude, I  say that but I'll never do it.

When I heard myself saying these three empty threats one after another in a five minute time frame I realized that I have a problem. A very annoying problem. The threats have to stop. They are EXHAUSTING to me.  I will not negotiate with terrorists any longer. I need to stop the threatening and PARENT her. I see this one giving me the most struggles this month.

So there they are five goals.   I can commit to working on them---right? I can do this. I can do this. I will do this. The secret is  too unbearable to share....

What are yours?


Linking this post up with The Tiny Twig today, because she's great.