My First!!!!! Half Marathon Experience

I thought they were going to. 

but hooray! They did not.

We arrived in downtown Indianapolis before the sun arose by my master plan. We were NOT going to be struck in traffic. We were NOT going to have trouble parking. We were GOING TO BE PREPARED. We would be there early and enjoy the atmosphere of the Nation's!! Largest!! Half!! Marathon!! It was going to be perfect. We left our house with plenty of time for unexpected issues----we got to the corral.......and due to my wonderful  slash psychotic planning---WAITED. for. two. hours. before anything happened. 

 

Due to my planning I had just enough time  to worry about BMs, Energy Shot timings, shoe lacings, outfit adjustments, and race day jitters to royally annoy the snot out of everyone. It was great. Two hours they will not soon forget as I asked frequently asked if they loved the new  RUNNING BELT *ahem fannny pack* that I purchased at the expo. They nicely told me it looked 80's and I assured them they were jealous----cause it was awesome. (it is awesome.) See...

After the longest two hours of everyone's life we headed to our corral. Due to the Jelly Belly sport beans I consumed I became very confident and decided that we should really try to corral hop. We didn't belong in the back of the pack----clearly. My running belt catapulted me into baller status for a runner and we successful hopped two letters in the alphabet. Stealthy and hopped up on sugared/ caffienated jelly beans I was ready to begin. Not to be dramatic (okay, a liiiiiitle dramatic), but this race signifies so much progress in my life. This race was the endcap to a lifestyle transformation. I was hearing slow motion motivational music in my head. Chills were covering my body. I was ready to do thiiiiissssssssss....... and with a quick pop of a gun...we were off.

 

I told myself I was going to pray for the first mile. It was a goal of mine to talk to God and praise Him for the changes and challenges I faced during my training and weight loss the past year.  I wish I could say that I did complete that goal during the half marathon but sadly, I didn't .  But I know God understands why I simply could not. For a  quarter mile we were stuck behind a middle aged man  with the shortest American flag shorts I've ever seen. It's really hard to pray when you're laughing and wanting to vomit at the same time. I doubt anyone could have a legit conversation with our Creator while  trying to dodge ones eyes from seeing a mans bits out on display through splashes of red, white, and blue.

 

Thank goodness for God's grace and those jelly beans.

 

We sprinted around that fella and carried on.

The first 7 miles were fun. I  laughed, chatted, and people watched with my runner girl Jess while keeping a steady pace. Can I tell you about my friend Jess? She was my rock during training. She was my cheerleader, butt-kicker, pace keeper, and off the ledge talker for 15 weeks. She ran with me so I wasn't alone. She wouldn't ever say this---but she SLOWED HER PACE for me while denying that she was faster than me. She listened to me mutter curse words and Get me through this Lord all in the same breath without judgement. She let me believe that my "running beans" really did help me maintain pace. She told me I could do this---when I didn't yet believe it myself.  She let me drag her to a race two hours early and was still my friend afterwards. Yay Jessica. If you're going to run a half marathon----you should really find yourself a Jessica.  I hope to be a Jessica to someone else one day.

 

Part of the Mini Marathon in Indianapolis is running around the Indianapolis Motor Speedway---I get it. Wow so cool to run where the racecars race...........As we were entering the Speedway I felt it too. OMGsh! The speedway!!! COOL! FUN! wait.....no water stations? just asphalt? you want me to kiss what? the bricks?  During the speedway it got hard.  Your mind gives up long before your legs do. My mind started to give up and it doesn't take much for me to go to crazytown. So naturally, I ate more jelly beans and tried to distract myself.  

 

I read a running memoir called Running Like a Girl a few weeks back. The book is great and really interesting to read if you're trying to spark a love for running. One of the biggest takeaways that stuck out was that  she suggest painting your fingernails a fun color before each race. Her reasoning was that at the end you're GOING to look like hell so you might as well have your nails in order. Annnnddddd.....there is nothing like a splash of color to distract your crazy brain. My nails were neon blue----and she's a genius. I held out my hands in front of me and looked at my ridiculous nails and started laughing.  Because running with your arms straight out in front of you makes you look completely ridiculous. Mind. distracted.

 

There was a girl who was in front of me for most of the race who I convinced myself was a Runner's World Model runner.....She was tan with a runner's physique and her long fishtailed braid sticking out under her neon running hat taunted me for a few miles. "You're slower than me" the braid said. "I'm so much awesomer at running than you"....the braid said. I found myself wishing I could be more like this pretty  runner girl. I wanted a braid....and then I realized  Braids were taunting me---so I passed runner's world perfect runner girl---and it felt really good. Sorry pretty runner girl----you're probably really nice---but your braid is kind of a meanie--you should probably cut it off.

 

Runners come in all shapes and sizes and the Mini taught me that. There were people of all shapes and sizes running faster, slower, and more awkwardly than me. Running is something everyone can do---and while runner fishtail braid girl taunted me ---the remainder of the race I tried to focus on how beautiful runners are. They are strong and mentally confident. I am strong. I am mentally confident. There was camaraderie in that---and perhaps that what keeps people coming back for more.

 

Thirteen miles ---whew.

 

My longest run prior to race day was 10 miles---crossing the 10 mile mark during the half was do or die time. And turns out it was DIE time. My phone died. This was super sad for a few reasons.

 

1. running without music---tragic.

2. running without my pleasant running app talking to me with my pace and mileage ---super tragic.

3. running with JUST your thoughts and no Beyonce?? EPICALLY TRAGIC.

 

 

The first 7 miles were fun. The middle 3 miles were a little crazy. The last 3 miles were HOLY MOLY HARDDDDDDDDD AND PAINFUL. My feet hurt. My toes burned. My knees pounded. My hips ached. I wanted to give up. Why do people do this? All 30,000 people running through Indianapolis that day were hurting and aching----WHY?  I think it's because we like to prove to ourselves and to others that WE CAN DO HARD THINGS.

 

and we did. and I did.

 

During the last mile I saw a familiar face along the street. An acquaintance that I met through my handmade business,  Lillypie. Seeing her and having her recognize me and shout "Keep going Laura!! You're almost there!!!" was just the boost of confidence I needed to pull strength out of my fanny pack and push through.

 

I finished the race.

 

I cried.

 

a wave of emotions flooded my mind and heart.

My biggest nugget learned from my first half marathon? People don't run races because they are easy. People run races because it feels flippin amazing to finish something you set out to do. 

 

Will I do another one?

 

YUP.

I have more jelly beans to eat. and I definitely need to wear my 80s running belt again. It's super cute.

Inspired by real women // now is your time

Keeping myself inspired is the name of the game in weight loss. I'm sure of it.

You're either inspired by chips, ice cream, bread, and mounds of chocolate several times a day....

or you're inspired by other's weight loss journey, healthy food choices, and activities.

Only one set of inspirations will aid in your weight loss. My college education tells me that being inspired by other strong women is the one that will finally allow you to kick the flub to the curb.

When I reflect on my own struggle and journey I can see how I was inspired by the wrong set for a long time. I turned to food as comfort. I chose to celebrate with "treats" that turned into binges. I selected to wish away the pounds rather than to do the hard work. It got me no where---well exept overweight and unhappy.

So choosing to find inspiration in another form was really the only way I was going to be able to lose weight and KEEP IT OFF.  The first place I turned for inspiration was to my relationship with God.  Ashamedly I had never made that connection that my relationship with God could fuel the inpiration to get healthy. Once I successfully aligned myself to the mindset of being devoted and committing my weight loss to  Him the other parts of losing weight fell into place. And before you think it---IT HAS NEVER BEEN EASY. However knowing that the reason for getting healthy was for God to better use me rather than to just look good did make the task ahead of me more manageable. If you're looking for help to allign your spiritual and physical transformation I highly reccoment GODFIT. It's a 6 week devotional complete with workout and fitness routines that WILL help you begin your journey.

Staying inspired is something I constantly need to do. I must look around me to other mothers, different types of food, and varying ways to challenge myself physically in order to LOSE the initial weight and maintain this lifestyle that I've come to love.

I decided that it might be beneficial to others reading to see where I pull inspiration from . Perhaps this can help you KICK YOUR OWN REAR IN GEAR. Have you been waiting for a better time?  NOW IS THE TIME. Some of you stumbled onto this blog JUST TO READ THAT.  Your time is now sister.

///

Here are some inpiring blogs that I recommend. None of these ladies know I'm about to name drop---there is nothing in this for me. These are the gals that I began following back in June. Some of them I have internet relationships with-- others I don't.  Their own journeys inspire me and I enjoy following their story oh-so-much

KATIE BALLA // Loves of Life

DIANA SMITH // Livy Loves to Run

 

 

ASHLEY // FreckleberryFit

Meg // Skinny Meg

 

MARY GRAHAM //Trusty Chucks

 

These ladies are mothers. These ladies aren't professionals....and they inspire me. Let their journey inspire yours.

I also have a secret board (love those!) on pinterest that I use to pin images that inspire me to keep going. At least twice a week I scroll through and remind myself WHY.

You can also stay inspired on your weight loss journey by finding fun and exciting ways to enjoy eating. When you're losing weight you're saying NO to a lot of things that you used to indulge in. It can be a huge bummer ---oh who am I kidding it's a MAJOR WAHHHHH BUMMER to say no. So in order to stay inspired in the kitchen and not allow yourself to quit because the FUN of eating is gone---find new ways to have fun!

Here are some of my favorite food inspirations that I make frequently. Delicious and not a diet derailer! WIN.

Apple Cookies//Peanut Butter Energy Bites //

and I love EVERYTHING from SkinnyTaste.com

 

 

Hearing others tell me that they are inspired by my adventures in getting healthy makes me happy. I write about all this as a way to keep myself accountable and to help others. The ladies above inspired me one day to a pointt where I thought to myself---DUDE IF THEY CAN DO THAT----SO CAN I!  It's attainable girls. Don't quit this time---you're worth it.

xoxox ladies. have a great butt kicking weekend.

Laura Beth

You Can't Fake Running

You can't fake running----so I'm not sure why I've thought of myself as a fake runner for the last 5 months. Running is the least fake thing you can do. You can't pretend to love it if you don't. You can't walk and pretend it's running. You can't fake a faster time. You can't fake a sweat. You can't fake the pain. You can't fake the release of tension. You can't hide behind anything when you run.

The multiple plates I spin on a daily basis stop spinning when I run. When I leave my house laced up with headphones in I escape from the busyness of my life. The toddlers can't demand anything from me.   The housework doesn't scream. The emails don't get read. I don't have to have the answers. I escape from the crazy.

The first few steps of my run always ache a little. My knees remember the miles from the other day and my lungs fill the familiar burn of quickened breath. The beginning strides of my run are always freeing---I am literally running away from my day. I don't need to tell you how much I adore my family because I know you understand those moments where you  need escape from your blessings for a few moments.

Once I flee from my day the routine sets in and I find my rhythm of my strides. I work through the pain of the first mile and fight off the insecurities that always creep in. The self doubts I have about myself in all aspects of my life line up before me and that first mile is always spent knocking down and assassinating each one. You're a mess of a mother and it's harder for you than it is for others. You are weak. You will fail. You are failing. Each aching stride crumbles those insecurities under my feet.

I love that feeling.


The feeling of conquering an insecurity and running all over it and proving it WRONG is what keeps me lacing up my shoes. Every time I run I'm reminded that I'm doing something that I COULD NOT do a short time ago.  Every time I run  I remind myself that I'm stronger than I thought I was. Every time I run I'm encouraged that my fears don't own me.

In a world where it's easy to fake a lot of things---I love being reminded that you can't fake running.

Finishing is fun.

If you follow along on instagram (love_laurabeth) you already know this.

I finally FINISHED my first race. No fake sprained ankles. No being carried off the track. I did it.

and it felt nothing short of AWESOME.

 

 

 

I could write about how nervous I was (!!!!!!!!!). I could write an entire post about the freak out I had the day before. Or about how I made an intricate playlist timed to the minute to keep me motivated and ended up NOT using it and talking with my brother and husband the entire time. I could write about how flippin cold it was (14!!!!! with WIND!!!!!!). I could write about a lot of things today but all I want to focus on is the finish.

 

 

Months ago when observing friends train and run races I didn't get it. I questioned why anyone would want to pay to get up early and run a long distance with people they didn't know. I could think of 12 reasons why THEY were crazy . Traffic. Sweating. Tight clothing. Seemed like torture not a hobby.

 

 

The decision came for me to try to run a race on Thanksgiving out of pep talks from my brother. I wanted to do it for myself and I wanted to prove to myself that I'm stronger mentally and physically than I give myself credit for. The past six months have become AS MUCH of an internal transformation as a physical one. My struggles have always been one in the same.

 

.......

 

My knees were hurting. The slow ache of doing something repetitively that I've grown accustomed to once realizing that I'm no young chicken anymore. I kept thinking about them and bouncing back and forth between thoughts of
"push through" and

"I hope this doesn't result in an actual injury"

 

Scott kept pushing me with words of affirmation that I was doing great and that he was incredibly proud of me. John was three strides ahead pushing my pace and distracting me with random completely falsified facts about running on Thanksgiving and working the pace group we were with by shouting "MASHED POTATOES!" and  "PUMPKIN PIE!!"

 

 

I was enjoying this. I was loving every single second. My knees were hurting, my hands were cold, but I felt completely ALIVE. I had made a goal, and in this moment I was completing it.  I am a sucker for a hopeful story and I was writing my own.

 

I turned onto the final straightaway  leading into the chute and I heard cheering. Cheering from complete strangers not meant for me, but it didn't matter. Tears started flowing ( and promptly freezing) because of the pride and success I was feeling for myself.

 

Six months ago I was crying on back porch feeling empty, defeated, and alone.

Today, I was FINISHING a 4.6 mile run.

 

My brother and husband slowed down the last few strides of the race and let me pull ahead. My strides were long and my heart was racing. I had the largest smile on my face as I pushed through the finish line and let myself enjoy the fact that I had done it.

 

 

I now know why people do races.

So they can finish them.

because finishing? it's really fun.

 

 

 

I'd like to finish a lot more in the days and years ahead.

Because now? I know I can do it.

 

 



Four and a Half. I'm nuts.

What the what friends!! It's race week! Ring the alarm!! It's here.

I AM GOING TO RUN FOUR AND A HALF MILES ON THANKSGIVING FOR FUN. If in June you would have told me that I would exercise for enjoyment on the holiday where buttoning pants is totally optional I would have spit my Dr. Pepper on you. and probably questioned our friendship.

And yet, here we are. 

I'm so nervous. I so excited. I cannot wait to achieve this goal. This goal is personal for me. Sooooo personal. This run resembles my growth as person. It represents changing habits and relying on faith.

With thankfulness on my mind and the 30 days of Thanks filling up my facebook feed I thought I'd leave you with some of my own .....

• I'm thankful for Pandora and Christian Aguilera's Genie in a Bottle for simultaneously bringing me back to 1999 and getting me through the last part of mile 4 today.

• I'm thankful that the little yapper dog that followed me for two blocks yesterday's bark was bigger than his bite.

• I'm thankful that you can always cross to the other side of the street when the crazy! psychotic! flock of scary geese all raise their heads at once and start bobbing their creepy little necks all at once. Miserable creatures that freak. me. out.

• I'm thankful for Pit Bull. His songs bring out the Southside in me and I truly enjoy my hip hop infused runs. Mister Worldwide!

• I'm thankful for the angel of a gentleman who honked his horn at me. Thank you for that boost in self esteem kind sir.

• I'm thankful that Scott supports my hobbies. I'm sure he's thankful that running has replaced my shopping hobby.

• I'm thankful that athletic gear is so adorable and allows me to secretly continue my shopping hobby. :)

• I'm thankful for you who read my blog and support me and listen to me. Your words of encouragement are appreciated and will be carried with me on race day.

I can't believe it's this week! Akjhaslknfwilunweljnlaskjrawlaw3aisdoawei!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Crawling Out of this Week

This week has been rough you guys. Shaken to my core rough. Lay awake at night thinking and thinking getting nowhere with my thoughts. Becoming tormented by my thoughts. I'm telling this to you because I KNOW you have them too. We all go through days, weeks, or months of triumphs and then we sink into the valleys and crawl our way out. I'm crawling out of one of those weeks.

Questions that won't ever be answered. Seeing dear friends in deep pain. Feeling like there must of been something I could do to help. Wishing relationships hadn't been severed. Craving the healing of the Lord but feeling distant. I've been wrestling  with self doubt.  I'm holding dear to relationships in which I can truly be free and second guessing ones in which perhaps I've shared too much. 

Where am I going with these thoughts?  I'm not really sure. I'm just pouring out my thoughts to you because you're there to listen and really that's all that we need sometimes. Someone to listen.

This week my runs were different.  I felt my runs turn from something I need to do for my PHYSICAL health to something I need for my own MENTAL health. Each step was pounded out this week. I was angry. I was confused.  The steps were harder than usual because all the frustrations, questions, and pain were leaving me with each stride---making myself stronger. STRONGER.

I knew I wanted to lose weight. I needed to. I couldn't handle the guilt, shame, and self hate any longer. However, never did it cross my mind on that day back in June that I'd be gaining a mental and emotional strength through this transformation of habits.

The biggest lie I ever told

I ran four miles this week. I have my first race in a little over a month.  I KNOW I can do it.  I can't wait to, actually. This new love for running is so hilarious and backwards for me. Sitting back thinking on one of the biggest lies I ever told goes back to running and my very first race.

I ran track for ONE season in middle school and it was HORRENDOUSLY AWFUL. I have not the slightest clue why I signed up. It probably revolved around the common theme in my life of WISHING I was athletic and failing miserably at it every. time.  Regardless, I was on the track team. We ran after school and I hated ever step I took.  I hated the uniforms. I hated the running. I LOVED the socializing. I loved the thought of getting a ribbon. I LOVED LOVED the thought of getting my name on the announcements the next day for placing. I LOVED LOVED LOVED the idea of being known as Laura---the race winner.

Gearing up for our first official middle school track meet was a mixture of excitement and dread. Excitement for wearing my new running shoes---dread for the actual running part. I was assigned to run the mile. Four laps-------my worst nightmare. I had no idea that you actually had to be really fast to get assigned the awesome race---the 400--the one laper.  The slower kids had to run the mile.

Brushing off the disappointment of not getting the "cake walk" one lap I remember thinking to myself that I COULD run four laps---I'd done it before. It COULD happen. I COULD still win, and get a ribbon, and become famous.

The gun fired-and I was off. slowly. By lap three I was in the back---the last girl.  I was trying and failing......my pride was stuck to the bottom of my dirty shoe and I could see my friends crossing the finish line. The only smart thing for me to do was obviously double over in pretend pain and scream out that "I SPRAINED MY ANKLE OHHHHH MMYYYYYYY WORRRRDDDDDDDD"

I faked a sprained ankle. 

Embarrassed. Ashamed. In Pain. and DONE---I fell to the ground and pretended like I couldn't move.  In my 12 year old brain it was 'brilliant' . It was broken. I had a just experienced a  career-ending sprain. Retire my reeboks, coach---A promising career was ended before it could truly start--TRAGIC. The tears were real. It was one of the most miserable moments of my teenage life--that dreaded race. Coaches carried me off the field---and  I believe there were even some claps.

My running career was over and I became the track "manager" the next day thus ending my dreams of ribbons and hearing my name on the school announcements.  A day that was filled with tragedy and  secret joyous relief.

*******

 



So my race is in a month. It's FOUR AND A HALF MILES.  And this will be the SECOND race I've ever ran in and hopefully the FIRST ONE I ever finish. :)

my struggle with the 13.1 stickers

Those 13.1 and 26.2 bumper stickers have always bothered me.

Running is a fantastic cardio vascular activity. It's great for your heart and lungs. It keeps your body lean and sculpts killer legs and bootie. The last place I want to be reminded that I CHOOSE NOT TO DO IT is while I'm busy driving  my 2 kiddos around, eating fast food, and running late for work. AGAIN. Your  sticker only makes me want to cut you off. Pin a rose on your nose woman! To me those stickers are a numeral way of saying I'M BETTER THAN YOU FAT HOOKER. Okay I added the hooker part because I'm snarky.

You ran a half marathon? Fantastic! You SHOULD be proud of yourself. I don't see how displaying a sticker on your car is doing anything but being boastful and prideful. Eeks am I going too far?


Maybe I allowed myself hate those stickers because not so secretly I was convicted by them.

0.0 I don't run was always the sticker I wanted. Only run when being chased. Ain't nobody got time for that. #wasteoftime

Truth be told---those stickers always make me feel inferior.
Yep, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Well my overweight self was consenting.

Those stickers made me feel like a failure more than annoyed. I allowed myself to feel the pang of guilt that whispered---she's like you--kids, job, husband, house ONLY BETTER because she takes care of her health. Comparison---the theif of joy. She runs. MILES.  Miles =A Bad Mambajamba

Could I be a runner? A bad mambajamba?

 I have legs, a brain, and hot pink running shorts.  Maybe?

I'm taking it  a half mile at a time. It's rarely pretty. But it's getting easier.

My farthest run to date is 3 miles. Dare I say I'm starting to enjoy it? RUNNING! ME!!! 0.0 girl. It's really enjoyable to leave the house and run out the stress of the day. I've struggled with anxiety for a long time. I'm  your classic worry wort. I worry about my worrying.... The evenings I set out for a jog do wonders for clearing my head and focusing my thoughts.

I'm signing up for my first 5K. I'm so nervous. I'm worried I'll fail. or get injured. or collapse.

and I'm even more worried that I'll enjoy it.

5Ks turn into 13.1s and turn into 26.2s......

which means I'll want a bumper sticker.