Saturday, October 31, 2009

cue hallelujah chorus

Lilly slept through her late night feeding the past two nights in a row!!!

I feel so refreshed. I don't know if it's possible, but I love the little monster even more on mornings like this. Happy Halloween to me! and you of course...

I really needed this little pick me up. Four nights ago, Lilly screamed bloody murder....ohh....for about 2.5 hours. She had just been fed, changed, cuddled, and swaddled. Talk about anxiety! I had no clue what was going on with her. Nothing seemed to comfort the poor child. I kinda lost it....(surprised?) and got really overwhelmed. I walked her around the house (waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!), I bounced her (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!), I put her in her swing which she loves 99% of the time (waaaaaah!), offered her another ounce of food (waaaaaaaaaaaaaah), and sang disney songs. Come on, who doesn't get cheered up by A Whold New World?! (waaaaaaaaah!). Then, holy mother cow, she let out the biggest fart. Oh? Then another (waaaaaaah!), and another (waaaaaaaaah), then two ginormous college boy burps. Ahhhh....gas!!! To make a rather long and exhausting night story was gas. I heart mylicon. I thought she was dying. I went through half a box of kleenex. Gas went away. Happy girl again.

Motherhood is a trip in my opinion--sorta like falling UP the stairs. You're walking along enjoying every minute of it. Everything is on the ups! You love your child, your husband, and everything baby. Then ..!!!BAM!!! you trip going up the stairs. You have no clue how it happened. You feel pain like you've never felt and everything you were carrying goes flying!! Your whole world is discombobulated for a while. You THOUGHT you knew how to walk up stairs, but apparently you don't. You feel utterly confused and at times feel like just rolling the rest of the way down. You don't, you stand back up, gather your belongings and brusied pride and keep on going. You get a few more steps up and realize that its HILLARIOUS when people fall going up the stairs. You turn around, face flushed from embarassment and laughter and pray that noone was watching. :)

happy halloween!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

meet lilly, the hotdog

Remember when I told you Lilly was FRANK breech in utero? Whooopps....

Every mom needs a file labeled "embarass your daughter later" right?? RIGHT! My parents have a drawer full of VHS's of them...dang. The drawer includes videos of me dressing up in my mother's dance costumes running around the backyard singing nonsense songs and screaming "EEEOOOP!" (apparently I spoke a lanugage only I could comprehend), throwing fits, bossing around my brother, the cat, my parents, anyone who seemingly had a pulse (firstborn, ok?), and even including a segment where I run around the house and proceed to relieve myself in the kitchen calling it "awcky awcky".::We need a video camera..STAT!::
So, to keep the tradition alive, I've begun my "file" for miss lilly. This costume belongs to my dear friend, Holly. Both of her boys wore this for their first Halloween. We don't have a costume for Lilly this year, but I couldn't resist putting her in this getup when I visited last week. How wonderful that I'll be able to remince the first time I dressed my daughter up as a weiner.......

Mom: 1
Lilly: 0

I'm sure the score will even out..probably in a public place, or in line at the grocery store, or when a phrase somewhere along the lines of..."my mommy loves high school musical more than me!" jumps out of her mouth. That was just an example.....pure fiction....duh. :)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I never thought I'd...

...take over 400 pictures in 4 weeks "normal baby poop"

...go a month without visiting a mall (i know, right?)

...consistently talk in a high pitched baby voice ( like it REALLY makes a difference to Lilly? WHY do I do this????)

...allow all my R's and L's turn into W's when talking ( my wittle willy woves me..oh lordy, i mean wordy)

...not have the radio on while driving
...get really worried when she won't burp
...get OVERLY OVERJOYED when she does this little face so much!!!!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

cuddle mornings

well, i can finally say that things have settled. whew, what a whirlwind the past few weeks were. scott and i have worked out a nice routine for making sure baby girl gets fed at night. scott takes the first two...the 10ish and 1ish, and i take the last two 4ish and 7ish. that way, we each are able to get approx. 6-7ish hours of sleep. it enables us both to function at about 70-80ish% on a daily basis. i know, i know, that's a lot of ISH's but lilly is constantly throwing curve balls at us and right now, i feel like our life is one bit fat ISH. :) Anyway, on to my 7:00 when she grunts and squeaks me awake, i get up, make a pot of coffee, grab an apple, her bottle, and the remote-- and lilly and i settle in for a morning of caffiene, cuddling, and DVR'd tv. Usually it's the shows from the night before since i usually hit the hay by 9-10ISH. So somedays it's xoxo Gossip Girl, other's it 90210, or maybe Grey's, and an occaisonal Housewives of atlanta will squeak it there-- all my shows that I am embarrisingly addicted to.
it is by far the best part of my day. she is so squishy and she just molds into my arms. i am really going to miss these moments when i have to return to the dungeon that is my job. ahh...

i took some pictures of lilly yesterday. i used a really cool website to edit them. it is . it's a free website that allows you to do some neat's the poor gal's version of photoshop. i love taking pictures of lilly. everytime i snap some i think to myself....she will never be this small again. it's so bittersweet. i love that she can see me now, is getting chubbier, and is FINALLY fitting into her newborn clothes. however, i feel like the next time i blink she's going to be begging me for a cell phone so she can text her idk BFF Jill! ahhhhh.

here are some pics of lilly jo. she is three weeks old in them. :)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

it's raining
it's pouring

lilly claire is snoring

i wish i was the one snoring. whew, i'm tuckered.

Friday, October 9, 2009

new friday night

I hear the RA-ROCK of the swing in perfect rhythm
the low murmur of the television lulls my husband to an early evening nap
looking across the living room my eyes gaze upon my daughters eyes fluttering, arms twitching, and pink blanket swaying as she rests.
squeeeeeeeak and grrrrunt "is she awake?"

the dishes will wait

the laundry will wait

my cell phone will wait

the full diaper pail CANNOT wait
bummer--two seconds too late, i'll capture that random sleeping smile sometime
my heart is full and my social calendar empty
yes, she's still breathing
new friday night, new friday night, new friday night

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

OMG I'm a mom!

Let's just let this sink in for a bit................................

Holy baby... I'm a mom and I looooooooooove it.

Lilly is amazing. She has brought out love that I did not know existed. I could sit and hold her all day and just stare. God is amazing and Lilly is a blessing... from her cute bald spot on the top of her head to her extra long second toe ( inherited from momma). Her grunts and squeaks are endearing. Her dirty diapers and uncanny ablitling to time them to perfectly explode on dad almost everytime are comical. Her cheeks are the softest ,most kissable things on the planet. I love the way she melts into my arms when she's sleeping. I adore the way she becomes frantic when she's hungry, but doesn't cry (yet). I'm amazed at the love I feel for my husband when I see him nuzzling her and talking to her and he doesn't know I'm watching. I even appreciate the special times we share when she lovingly wakes me up at 1:00, 3:00, and 5:00.

No doubt about it. These have been the hardest days of my life. I've cried more tears than I thought possible. I don't regret them though. They were tears of joy, confusion, frustration, love, and concern for this beautiful human life that the Lord has entrusted and given to us.