Weighed in this morning at 175.2. I've lost 20 pounds. 20!!!! Friends, that's exciting. I'm hitting a groove. Choosing healthy items are becoming second nature and I'm starting to no longer crave certain foods that I once thought were things I would NEVER be able to give up. It's so true that once you train your body you really do crave healthier foods....it's no joke. The other night I wanted something sweet so I had a sliced peach, banana, and cool whip and it was amazing. Totally fulfilled my hankering for something sweet. WHO IS THIS GIRL!? And where did her double chin go?!
On one of my lowest self confidence nights in late may I typed out a post and never hit publish. I do that a lot. I have 6 posts written that will most likely never be published. Writing is so incredibly therapeutic for me. Anyway, here is a portion of what I wrote. I'm sharing this because this was me 10 weeks ago and twenty pounds heavier. It's important when giving an honest account of my weight loss journey.
----"I don't want to be ashamed of my appearance. I don't want to feel guilty that people are judging me because I'm eating dessert. I don't want to feel panic that someone can tell my pants aren't buttoned all the way. I don't want to know that I can't pull my hair back in a ponytail because I know my hair tie is holding my pants together!
I also want to do this for my husband. He loves me regardless----but he deserves the best version of myself.
Probably the most important reason is that I don't want to pass my insecurities to Lilly. I don't want her to grow up hating her body and not respecting it for what it can do. God did not create our physique to damage it by filling it with fake foods with no nutrition. What am I teaching her by allowing myself to remain sedentary, eating junk, drinking junk, complaining about it, and DOING NOTHING. She will grow up to repeat the habits she sees. Making excuses. Blaming circumstances. Covering insecurities. I can't raise her with confidence knowing that my decisions ultimately will shape her image of herself.
I want to do this for others. I want to look good! I want to enjoy clothes---and wear fashions confidently. I don't want to attempt a trend while feeling like I'm doing the "fat girl version". One of my main goals is to avoid the "Oh no---I'm the fattest girl in the room" feeling. It's terrible acknowledging it---and I'M DONE WITH IT.
I'm not there yet. Typing these words don't feel like truth--but I'd like to do this for the Lord. Talking with John today he mentioned the word DEVOTED. I'd my weight loss to be a reflection of what God can do THROUGH me. I want this journey to be an act of worship. Taking care of myself---what he created could turn out to be my biggest act of worship. Being devoted and committed to a goal that results in a healthier Laura--I know this will not be possible without HIM being in the center. The moments I drift away from that will be when it becomes a struggle. Even as I'm typing---I feel my confidence emerging.
I CAN DO THIS. "
Crazy proud of the progress made. Can I say that out loud without being arrogant? Absolutely!! God is working in me and through me. I am completely committed to this weight loss and HIGH FIVES ALL AROUND because for the first time in four years I'm sticking to it! Here are some goals made in June---my 10 week updates are highlighted.
- Button my colored denim without using a rubber band DONE! they fit perfectly and I dare say may be getting baggy in the next few weeks.
- Exercise 3 days a week Still a struggle to work in time for this---but I always try to get three good workouts in a week
- Cut down to coffee only ( diet soda only---sparingly)
- 1 Dr. Pepper a week (weaning down to only a few a month) This is one I was really worried about. I LOVE Dr. Pepper. Surprisingly I don't crave it anymore. I think I've found a new love in Green Tea from Sonic. Pretty awesome swap (8 WW points for a large to 0 WW points with a green tea!
- Eat breakfast at home
- healthy choices when eating out
- replacing snacks with fruits and/or veggies
- Lose 30 pounds in 6 months 2 and a half months in and down 20. I'm on my way!
I still have a long way to go. But I've tasted success and it's great. I love weight watchers and it's working for me.
I debated whether or not to set an end goal for weight loss. I think I'm ready. My Target Weight is 150. That will take me out of the obese category (that is so freaking hard to write out...obese. Sick) to the healthy weight range.
I'm so encouraged by my progress and honestly cannot wait to continue to lose. My next big happy dance moment will be when others start to notice the changes. My love language is Words of Affirmation and I know that when friends and acquaintances mention how I'm changing it will make my heart soar. I notice the changes in my body---how fun it will be to know others notice it as well! May sound vain---but it's the truth.