Thursday, December 31, 2009
2009 was an huge, large, EPIC, wooooooaaaaahhhhhh kinda year. I saw a few picture mash ups on facebook and thought, "awww how cauutte!" So I did my own on picnik. :)
Let's see. I drank wine. Played rockband. Got pregnant. Went to Kings of Leon. No longer drank wine. Became obsessed with Petunia Picklebottom. Turned 26. Peed on lots of sticks. Taught 4th grade. Gained 48 pounds. Ate lots of chic-fila. Drank lots of limeades. Laid out pregnant in a two piece (gasp!). Got really hot laying out. Bought lots of baby clothes. Painted a ton of furniture white. Had numerous breakdowns over painting furniture white. Had 4 showers. Wrote a bazillion thank you notes. Read a buncho books about babies. Had 7 ultrasounds. Went to the ER once. Tried to play tug-of-war pregnant. Was THAT GIRL who called her OB too much. Watched my little brother get married. Stressed out about the bridesmaid dress. Looked HOTTT in the dress. :) Cried a lot. Laughed a little bit more. Tried not to waddle. Tried to turn my breech baby. Gave up on that. Freaaaaaked out about a c-section. Had a Csection. Realized they weren't that bad. Cried when I met Lilly. Laughed when I held Lilly. Kissed her a CATRILLION times. Changed poopy diapers. Got pooped on. Got peed on. Got puked on. Didn't mind. Fell in love with Scott MORE. Cuddled with Lilly on the couch. Tried to breastfeed. Failed at breastfeeding. Cried about not breastfeeding. Got over it. Loved on Lilly. Realized that a MOBY is amazing. Took a quatrillion pictures. Discovered GLEE!! Met baby Ainsley. Met baby Grace. Met baby Hailey. Met baby Marlo. Met Baby Beckett. Met baby Corinne. Met baby Brooke. Met baby Beckett (2). Met A LOT of babies! Worried about reflux. Took her to Target. Took her to Chicfila. Cried when she smiled. Obsessed over her smile. Took her to American Eagle. Was THAT GIRL who called her pediatrician too much. Took her to the mall. Spent more money. Filled out her baby book ad nauseum. Became addicted to her swing. Checked facebook a lot. Blogged a lot. Discovered that I love writing. Realized that all the books I read about babies really just made me compare Lilly and think that something was wrong. Put books in the garage. Marveled when she held her head up on her stomach. Drank some wine! Lost 30 pounds. Tried to get her to fall asleep in her crib. Met with her daycare lady. Cried about taking her to daycare. SHE SLEEPS IN HER CRIB! Had a Merry Christmas. Ate lots of chocolate. Gained 5 pounds. Whew!
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Today is the last Tuesday of my maternity leave (insert sad face). I went into school today to try and get myself a tad bit prepared for the rascal madness coming my way on Monday. Really--I just wanted to put cute pictures of Lilly on my desk. I went to school and talked with the gal doing my maternity leave. She filled me in on the changes and schedules that are new. HOLY MOTHER I feel like everything changed-- report cards, math fact program, Rti schedules, new IEP's, behavior contracts, DIBELS monitoring....whaaa??? Needless to say, I was overwhelmed to the point of tears. It didn't help that I brought Lilly with me and she was NOT happy to be at school either. She kept whining...and since I'm her momma (and therefore that means I know ALL) this is why:
1. They turned the flippin heat OFF and it was flippin cold.
2.She spit up on her shirt again. boo.
3. She knows that this time next week I'll be spending more time with other people's kids than her.
So I slapped that picture frame on my desk ( it's got glittery jewels on it...ohsocute) and beelined for the door with my babe. There was no way in heck I was gonna spend anymore time in that silly room than I had to. Who needs lesson plans and morning work? NOT THIS GIRL! I know I'll be too emotional and all bawlly anyway to focus on any of that stuff on Monday. I hope the DOE (dept. of educ) doesn't randomly hop upon this blog. I'll get fiiirreed. (hmm...would I get unemployment then????) I think the first mention of the words Lilly, baby, pink, home, daycare, bottle, or chicfila are going to make me burst into a "I donn'tt wannnnaaaa bbbbeeeeee heeeeerrreee" breakdown anyway.
So...I came home and played and cuddled with lilly until she gave me that--"uhh-ma? I need a break from the high pitched voices and kissy faces mmmkay?" look. While soaking up the last dwindling days of my blissful maternity leave I shot this video of Lilly playing with her links. Okay....so not so much her playing with her links...but me kinda torturing her and making me laugh with her links. She's my child. I do what I want. Mmmmmkay?
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
TIME OUT. rumor has it it won't be back til APRIL. Lilly will by mobile by then! I won't possibly be able to watch MAH FAVE show and keep Lilly from eating the power cords all at once! Wah!
So It's 9:41 and I'm BORED. (haha first I typed it board....wait that's not right.) I'm done
I started Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred today. Great idea to start it before Christmas, no? I'd really like to get back down to a single digit size here in the new few months. I'd really like to stop using my bella band in the new few months. and I'd realllllllllllllllllllyyyyy like to rid myself of this pizza dough belly I've acquired. So, here we go. Day One=Success.
Lilly will be THREE WHOLE MONTHS on Friday. Holy chicken, where has the time gone? Let me just dote on my darlin for a sec.
-she held onto her rattle today! (yes, Ally....the LADYBUG one!!!)
-she coos and talks all. the.time. (She's sooo verbal. soooo advanced, this one.)
-she can be wailing and telling me she hates her life, but as soon as I set her pampered butt on the changing table she stops. (whaaa??)
-she outgrew her newborn insert of the car seat
-she is a champion eater now. she is no longer on the soy formula (TAKE THAT ENFAMIL!) but she gobbles up six whopping ounces of the Gentlease stuff ( a whopping 8 bucks cheaper!) Let me break this down for you...That's 7.5 McDonalds cokes or a large #1 from Chic-fil-A EXTRA pickles with Polynesian sauce ooor 3 US Weeklys ooorrrrr 8 strawberry limeades (during happy hour of course) OOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRR SIX PARADISE BAKERY COOKIES cheaper!
-she's sleeping through the night (i know the moment I press the "publish post" button Lilly will declare a sleep strike on me. i'm scared. moving on.)
-she's the cutest little one...ever. and I love her oh-so-much.
HOWEVER.....we are having troubles getting her to sleep at night. She's a little attention seeker ( wonder where that trait comes from?). We used to (as in two weeks ago) be able to set her in the crib, give her a kiss, turn on the sound machine, walk out of the room and she'd put herself to sleep. That is NO LONGER WORKING. We leave the room....and she cries like her crib is on. fire. We walk back into the room...smiles, coos, and kicks like a goober. Should we let her cry it out? Is she too young for that? We aren't getting her out of the crib to rock her...but should we? Should we let her "play" more before settling her down? More formula? Should I give her an ambien? (JK!) Please HELP me. If you have any suggestions....please share. C'mon, quit blog lurking and lend a hand. seriously. i need you.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Once upon a Thursday, there was a mom who needed to deliver a dress to a friend in need. This said friend decided to meet this mother halfway between their two cities. "The restaraunt off of the 67 exit? Perfect. See you in twenty. K Bye." This mother finished snapping adorable photos of her daughter on the couch and packed her happy giggling gal into her carseat and off they went.
Five minutes into their journey, the giggling gal giggled a little too much and decided to VOMIT up her lunch, all over the carseat and adorable 'I heart santa' outfit. SICK. What was a mother on the interstate to do? She did her best one handed swipe to clean up the mess and continued on her way.
Not two mintues later, miss stink decided to take a poo. ewwww...gross lilly. Not only did the trusty nissan reek of spit up...it now was filled with the odor of my darling's poop. sick. The mother pulled into the restaurant parking lot, which used to be a family friendly Damon's and was surprised that it had been replaced by a restaurant with HOG and BAR in the title. ( the mother doesn't quite remember the details, all she remembers is that it was NOT a restaraunt to take a poopy, vomit covered darling.) It was basically a truck stop complete with idling semis with drivers who were most likely not prepared for the AWESOME mothering skills they were about to witness.
The dress was exchanged and the friend did not stick around too long because of the FOUL and REPULSIVE odor being emitted from the backseat. She kindly left the mother to tackle the mess in the Chicco seat. Thanks. The mother went around the vehicle and climbed in the backseat not really sure how to tackle this mess. The mothering fail moments are about to begin.
The mother (oh who am I kidding, it's me, surprised? :) ). I, got out the diaper bag and pulled lilly from the seat. I decided to fold down the passenger seat instead of using the trunk (is that what the back of an SUV is called?) because it was rather FREEZING that day. The seat ALMOST folds all the way flat. I figured it was good enough. (FAIL) I sat her on the folded chair and began changing her diaper. I was rather frazzled, and neglected to put down a pad/protector for my chair. (fail moment number one) I fumbled around to change the poopy mess. She was incredibly wiggly and kept sliding down the seat that ALMOST folds flat smearing various things back onto her and the seat that ALMOST folds flat. boo.
I had the clean diaper semi attached (fail moment number two) and I decided to deal with the dirty diaper because the smell was making me gag. I thought she was good to go, so I didn't bother strapping her into that sucker quite yet. The mothers reading this are probably shaking your heads thinking...." oh no, you're going to regret that decision, missy! NEVER leave a baby with a diaper HALF on. Helllooooo." HECK the people out there reading this who AREN'T mothers are probably thinking that!!! Common Sense 101. Murphy's or Newtwon's laws...one of them? Seriously, Laura??
You guessed it. She pees. All over the clean diaper. All over the seat that ALMOST folds down. All over my Nissan. I clean up the mess, basically using an entire travel pack of wipes and finally get the babe FULLY diapered and the rest of the car SEMI-clean. This story is seemingly coming to a close, right? Oh no. Remember? She vomitted before. Her Carter's are covered and drenched in her regurgitated lunch. I strip her down to her diaper and go digging for the " just in case" outft in the bottom of the diaper bag. An outfit that had been quietly hanging out since week TWO of Lilly world. Since we are now embarking on week TWELVE of Lilly world....(yea, epic fail number three). It was an adorable newborn onesie, so cute-so small. I had to stuff my 11 pound darling into this onesie meant for a far more "slim" child. The poor dear could not straighten her legs. I tried stretchin that sucker out, trust me. I was faced with two options. Option A.) Stuff her into the waaaaay too small outfit with gaping snaps and deal with her whimpers and screams because she can't move. Or...Option B.) Put her back into her vomit covered 'I heart santa' outfit. I chose option A.
I snapped her up, put her back in her chicco, stuffed the NASTY diaper into a ziplock bag ( soooo did not cover up the smell), made a mental note to DEFINITELY invest in those little diaper bag diaper bags that I considered "useless" because a "ziplock bag will work just fine", gathered the vomity clothes; stuffed them FARTHER into the diaper bag, folded back up the seat that ALMOST folds flat, got out of the car shaking my head at the "fail" moments of the past 15 minutes, and crawled back into the driver seat. I drove home and was pleasantly surprised with the lack of screams I heard but rather a sweet , non-spitup covered, non-poopy, non-wet, sleeping baby in the backseat.
The moral of the story is:
1. Always put down a cover
2. Always attach a diaper COMPLETELY
3. Buy dirty diaper baggies
4. Your "just in case" outfit MUST be the actual size of your baby CURRENTLY
5. Next car you buy should not have seats that ALMOST fold down
6. Look back....and laugh
And they all lived happily ever after...
I'm off to refill my travel wipes case. :)
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
yesterday 9:45 "mmmm....rice crispie treats!"
10:00 Then came the irrational thought "Finish the pan this morning...get it OUT OF THE HOUSE and you'll no longer be tempted and your diet can start again FO REAL THIS TIME!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnndddd she's over it...
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Yes, I am completely aware that I'm a loser and a tad on the over-the-top cheesy side. Don't worry, I'm okay with it. :)
you know you love me....xoxo