peace out 2009

I wanted to write sianora...but couldn't figure out how to spell it correctly. doh.
2009 was an huge, large, EPIC, wooooooaaaaahhhhhh kinda year. I saw a few picture mash ups on facebook and thought, "awww how cauutte!" So I did my own on picnik. :)
Let's see. I drank wine. Played rockband. Got pregnant. Went to Kings of Leon. No longer drank wine. Became obsessed with Petunia Picklebottom. Turned 26. Peed on lots of sticks. Taught 4th grade. Gained 48 pounds. Ate lots of chic-fila. Drank lots of limeades. Laid out pregnant in a two piece (gasp!). Got really hot laying out. Bought lots of baby clothes. Painted a ton of furniture white. Had numerous breakdowns over painting furniture white. Had 4 showers. Wrote a bazillion thank you notes. Read a buncho books about babies. Had 7 ultrasounds. Went to the ER once. Tried to play tug-of-war pregnant. Was THAT GIRL who called her OB too much. Watched my little brother get married. Stressed out about the bridesmaid dress. Looked HOTTT in the dress. :) Cried a lot. Laughed a little bit more. Tried not to waddle. Tried to turn my breech baby. Gave up on that. Freaaaaaked out about a c-section. Had a Csection. Realized they weren't that bad. Cried when I met Lilly. Laughed when I held Lilly. Kissed her a CATRILLION times. Changed poopy diapers. Got pooped on. Got peed on. Got puked on. Didn't mind. Fell in love with Scott MORE. Cuddled with Lilly on the couch. Tried to breastfeed. Failed at breastfeeding. Cried about not breastfeeding. Got over it. Loved on Lilly. Realized that a MOBY is amazing. Took a quatrillion pictures. Discovered GLEE!! Met baby Ainsley. Met baby Grace. Met baby Hailey. Met baby Marlo. Met Baby Beckett. Met baby Corinne. Met baby Brooke. Met baby Beckett (2). Met A LOT of babies! Worried about reflux. Took her to Target. Took her to Chicfila. Cried when she smiled. Obsessed over her smile. Took her to American Eagle. Was THAT GIRL who called her pediatrician too much. Took her to the mall. Spent more money. Filled out her baby book ad nauseum. Became addicted to her swing. Checked facebook a lot. Blogged a lot. Discovered that I love writing. Realized that all the books I read about babies really just made me compare Lilly and think that something was wrong. Put books in the garage. Marveled when she held her head up on her stomach. Drank some wine! Lost 30 pounds. Tried to get her to fall asleep in her crib. Met with her daycare lady. Cried about taking her to daycare. SHE SLEEPS IN HER CRIB! Had a Merry Christmas. Ate lots of chocolate. Gained 5 pounds. Whew!

Happy New Year!

i heart links, and blogging

Today is the last Tuesday of my maternity leave (insert sad face). I went into school today to try and get myself a tad bit prepared for the rascal madness coming my way on Monday. Really--I just wanted to put cute pictures of Lilly on my desk. I went to school and talked with the gal doing my maternity leave. She filled me in on the changes and schedules that are new. HOLY MOTHER I feel like everything changed-- report cards, math fact program, Rti schedules, new IEP's, behavior contracts, DIBELS monitoring....whaaa??? Needless to say, I was overwhelmed to the point of tears. It didn't help that I brought Lilly with me and she was NOT happy to be at school either. She kept whining...and since I'm her momma (and therefore that means I know ALL) this is why:

1. They turned the flippin heat OFF and it was flippin cold.

2.She spit up on her shirt again. boo.

3. She knows that this time next week I'll be spending more time with other people's kids than her.

So I slapped that picture frame on my desk ( it's got glittery jewels on it...ohsocute) and beelined for the door with my babe. There was no way in heck I was gonna spend anymore time in that silly room than I had to. Who needs lesson plans and morning work? NOT THIS GIRL! I know I'll be too emotional and all bawlly anyway to focus on any of that stuff on Monday. I hope the DOE (dept. of educ) doesn't randomly hop upon this blog. I'll get fiiirreed. (hmm...would I get unemployment then????) I think the first mention of the words Lilly, baby, pink, home, daycare, bottle, or chicfila are going to make me burst into a "I donn'tt wannnnaaaa bbbbeeeeee heeeeerrreee" breakdown anyway.

So...I came home and played and cuddled with lilly until she gave me that--"uhh-ma? I need a break from the high pitched voices and kissy faces mmmkay?" look. While soaking up the last dwindling days of my blissful maternity leave I shot this video of Lilly playing with her links. Okay....so not so much her playing with her links...but me kinda torturing her and making me laugh with her links. She's my child. I do what I want. Mmmmmkay?

--family pic!

We like to take lots of pictures of ourselves. And by we....I mean me. I don't know what it is about having a family of three that makes me want to document EVERY.SINGLE.MOMENT. of our lives. Lilly is wearing pajamas-family pic! Lilly has a present-family pic! Lilly is wearing a WHITE bow-family pic! Lilly looks confused again-family pic! Lilly is staring at the ceiling fan-family pic! Good thing Scott is a good sport annnnnnndd my camera has a large memory card. The Gambrel's thoroughly enjoyed Lilly's first Christmas. We got Lilly some caaauuuttteee new pacifiers ( one says I heart mommy..yeayeaaaaa), new bottles, links (currently a haaauuugeee hit with the wee wittle one) Lilly's holding a link-family pic!, and a mother goose book. It was such a fun few days. Lilly was quite the trooper traveling around to the many different celebrations. I was pleasantly surprised. She was very tuckered out come Sunday. She took three, TAHREEEEEEE hour naps and. aaaannnnd she let me snuggle for like an hour. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful weekend.

I go back to school a week from today. Pretty soon it will be me crying it out, not lilly.

insomnia

I'm not tired. Seriously. When did this happen and hoooowww inconvenient? Scott's asleep. Lilly's asleep ( finally....... we need HALP!). There is nothin on TV. No Gossip Girl. No Hills. No Desperate Housewives. No Greys. No Office. No 30 Rock. and the most devastating NO GLEE!

TIME OUT. rumor has it it won't be back til APRIL. Lilly will by mobile by then! I won't possibly be able to watch MAH FAVE show and keep Lilly from eating the power cords all at once! Wah!

So It's 9:41 and I'm BORED. (haha first I typed it board....wait that's not right.) I'm done stalking facebooking and I've caught up on all the blogs I read. So naturally there is only one thing really left to do...ramble on the internet and pretend like people care.

I started Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred today. Great idea to start it before Christmas, no? I'd really like to get back down to a single digit size here in the new few months. I'd really like to stop using my bella band in the new few months. and I'd realllllllllllllllllllyyyyy like to rid myself of this pizza dough belly I've acquired. So, here we go. Day One=Success.

Lilly will be THREE WHOLE MONTHS on Friday. Holy chicken, where has the time gone? Let me just dote on my darlin for a sec.
-she held onto her rattle today! (yes, Ally....the LADYBUG one!!!)
-she coos and talks all. the.time. (She's sooo verbal. soooo advanced, this one.)
-she can be wailing and telling me she hates her life, but as soon as I set her pampered butt on the changing table she stops. (whaaa??)
-she outgrew her newborn insert of the car seat
-she is a champion eater now. she is no longer on the soy formula (TAKE THAT ENFAMIL!) but she gobbles up six whopping ounces of the Gentlease stuff ( a whopping 8 bucks cheaper!) Let me break this down for you...That's 7.5 McDonalds cokes or a large #1 from Chic-fil-A EXTRA pickles with Polynesian sauce ooor 3 US Weeklys ooorrrrr 8 strawberry limeades (during happy hour of course) OOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRR SIX PARADISE BAKERY COOKIES cheaper!
-she's sleeping through the night (i know the moment I press the "publish post" button Lilly will declare a sleep strike on me. i'm scared. moving on.)
-she's the cutest little one...ever. and I love her oh-so-much.

HOWEVER.....we are having troubles getting her to sleep at night. She's a little attention seeker ( wonder where that trait comes from?). We used to (as in two weeks ago) be able to set her in the crib, give her a kiss, turn on the sound machine, walk out of the room and she'd put herself to sleep. That is NO LONGER WORKING. We leave the room....and she cries like her crib is on. fire. We walk back into the room...smiles, coos, and kicks like a goober. Should we let her cry it out? Is she too young for that? We aren't getting her out of the crib to rock her...but should we? Should we let her "play" more before settling her down? More formula? Should I give her an ambien? (JK!) Please HELP me. If you have any suggestions....please share. C'mon, quit blog lurking and lend a hand. seriously. i need you.

"i'm the caaaauuuutttttest baybee in Avonnnnn."

Everyday I learn something new about parenting/motherhood. Today's lesson? Slamming the snooze button numerous times before rolling outta bed to get ready for church on Sunday morning is no longer a reality for Mrs. Gambrel. (tear) This morning we embarked on our first journey to church since entering Lillytown. I'm so glad we went. Twelve weeks is waaaaayyyy to long to miss a service. I believe it was the longest I've ever been a non-sunday dweller. Eeks. But in my defense...weeks 1-3 I did not know day from night, up from down, Sunday from Tuesday. Weeks 3-7 were consumed with my H1N1 phobia because naturally EVERY person at church would have it and expose my daughter. Weeks 7-12? ummm... PURE LAZINESS. :) Maybe it was the fact that 12 weeks seemed like a large milestone for Lilly. Maybe it was the nativity set sitting on my bookshelf. Maybe it was the carols swimming in my mind and echoing throughout my home and car. Maybe it was the fact that the holiday we're celebrating on Friday is JESUS' BIRTH. Regardless, on Monday....I decided...the Gambrel's need to get BACK to church and enjoy some praising the Lord!! AMEN.

Have you ever sat in church and felt like the sermon was specifically meant for you? God shone his spotlight on me this morning and it was like he was doing his best snapping his fingers in my face motion saying, "Attention, Laura? Yes, you in the pink flats. This message is for you...please stop daydreaming. Lilly is JUST FINE in the nursery. You can figure out what you'll have for lunch later. Please PAY ATTENTION." and bam. I sat there the rest of the sermon engulfed reflecting and thinking about what Mr. Reeves was saying. His sermon revolved around Luke 2:20. Oh, you don't have it memorized? Shame...shame. :) Here ya go.

"The shepherds RETURNED glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen."

and the idea that God's best witnesses are common people with a testimony.

Common person? Check. Testimony? Check. I've never really thought about it that way before. I believe what I believe because of people. I see God working in others lives and my own. I KNOW what I KNOW because of common people...not because of what a preacher is telling me on a random Sunday morning. I've never really thought about MY life being a testimony of God's Love. I mean, I know that every person has a story. I've had a life-long journey of faith. Could MY life really help another person see God's Love? Me? They answer to that question is maybe, most-likely, yes. One day, hopefully soon, I'm gonna write out my testimony. Not right now, because Miss Lil is not-so-politely asking for her lunch...but later. What good is my story if I don't make it public? So maybe it's my new year's resolution, or maybe just a goal for the not-so-distant future. I'm going to do it. I'm going to make all my mistakes and struggles known and I'd like to show everyone how MY GOD and MY JESUS got me through it. I have a feeling that I'm going to have this "spotlight sensation" feeling from God on me until I do...He's persistant like that.

Sorry that this post really doesn't have much to do with my little one. She did make us a little late outta the gate this morning on our way to church because she wouldn't stop smiling and laughing long enough to eat her breakfast. I was sitting there with her bottle thinking "Eat, you turd!" but I couldn't stay mad at her, little stinker.

Gather round...it's story time.

This story involes the stinker in the photos, a trusty nissan, a restaraunt off of 67, diapers, and several epic FAIL moments for dear old mom. :)

Once upon a Thursday, there was a mom who needed to deliver a dress to a friend in need. This said friend decided to meet this mother halfway between their two cities. "The restaraunt off of the 67 exit? Perfect. See you in twenty. K Bye." This mother finished snapping adorable photos of her daughter on the couch and packed her happy giggling gal into her carseat and off they went.

Five minutes into their journey, the giggling gal giggled a little too much and decided to VOMIT up her lunch, all over the carseat and adorable 'I heart santa' outfit. SICK. What was a mother on the interstate to do? She did her best one handed swipe to clean up the mess and continued on her way.

Not two mintues later, miss stink decided to take a poo. ewwww...gross lilly. Not only did the trusty nissan reek of spit up...it now was filled with the odor of my darling's poop. sick. The mother pulled into the restaurant parking lot, which used to be a family friendly Damon's and was surprised that it had been replaced by a restaurant with HOG and BAR in the title. ( the mother doesn't quite remember the details, all she remembers is that it was NOT a restaraunt to take a poopy, vomit covered darling.) It was basically a truck stop complete with idling semis with drivers who were most likely not prepared for the AWESOME mothering skills they were about to witness.


The dress was exchanged and the friend did not stick around too long because of the FOUL and REPULSIVE odor being emitted from the backseat. She kindly left the mother to tackle the mess in the Chicco seat. Thanks. The mother went around the vehicle and climbed in the backseat not really sure how to tackle this mess. The mothering fail moments are about to begin.

The mother (oh who am I kidding, it's me, surprised? :) ). I, got out the diaper bag and pulled lilly from the seat. I decided to fold down the passenger seat instead of using the trunk (is that what the back of an SUV is called?) because it was rather FREEZING that day. The seat ALMOST folds all the way flat. I figured it was good enough. (FAIL) I sat her on the folded chair and began changing her diaper. I was rather frazzled, and neglected to put down a pad/protector for my chair. (fail moment number one) I fumbled around to change the poopy mess. She was incredibly wiggly and kept sliding down the seat that ALMOST folds flat smearing various things back onto her and the seat that ALMOST folds flat. boo.

I had the clean diaper semi attached (fail moment number two) and I decided to deal with the dirty diaper because the smell was making me gag. I thought she was good to go, so I didn't bother strapping her into that sucker quite yet. The mothers reading this are probably shaking your heads thinking...." oh no, you're going to regret that decision, missy! NEVER leave a baby with a diaper HALF on. Helllooooo." HECK the people out there reading this who AREN'T mothers are probably thinking that!!! Common Sense 101. Murphy's or Newtwon's laws...one of them? Seriously, Laura??

Moving on....

You guessed it. She pees. All over the clean diaper. All over the seat that ALMOST folds down. All over my Nissan. I clean up the mess, basically using an entire travel pack of wipes and finally get the babe FULLY diapered and the rest of the car SEMI-clean. This story is seemingly coming to a close, right? Oh no. Remember? She vomitted before. Her Carter's are covered and drenched in her regurgitated lunch. I strip her down to her diaper and go digging for the " just in case" outft in the bottom of the diaper bag. An outfit that had been quietly hanging out since week TWO of Lilly world. Since we are now embarking on week TWELVE of Lilly world....(yea, epic fail number three). It was an adorable newborn onesie, so cute-so small. I had to stuff my 11 pound darling into this onesie meant for a far more "slim" child. The poor dear could not straighten her legs. I tried stretchin that sucker out, trust me. I was faced with two options. Option A.) Stuff her into the waaaaay too small outfit with gaping snaps and deal with her whimpers and screams because she can't move. Or...Option B.) Put her back into her vomit covered 'I heart santa' outfit. I chose option A.

I snapped her up, put her back in her chicco, stuffed the NASTY diaper into a ziplock bag ( soooo did not cover up the smell), made a mental note to DEFINITELY invest in those little diaper bag diaper bags that I considered "useless" because a "ziplock bag will work just fine", gathered the vomity clothes; stuffed them FARTHER into the diaper bag, folded back up the seat that ALMOST folds flat, got out of the car shaking my head at the "fail" moments of the past 15 minutes, and crawled back into the driver seat. I drove home and was pleasantly surprised with the lack of screams I heard but rather a sweet , non-spitup covered, non-poopy, non-wet, sleeping baby in the backseat.

The moral of the story is:
1. Always put down a cover
2. Always attach a diaper COMPLETELY
3. Buy dirty diaper baggies
4. Your "just in case" outfit MUST be the actual size of your baby CURRENTLY
5. Next car you buy should not have seats that ALMOST fold down
6. Look back....and laugh

And they all lived happily ever after...

I'm off to refill my travel wipes case. :)

rice crispie treat madness

i haven't lost all the weight i gained during the 9 months it took to build lilly's arms, legs, brain, and beautiful blue eyes. i'm having difficult feeling "cute" even with a new outfit (which pre-lilly always did the trick) and more than 10 minutes of primping.

but....... i kinda (ok...not "kinda" more like "TOTALLY") have myself to blame. i made rice crispie treats yesterday (my brain still tells me i have cravings...totally NOT my fault..it's chemical) and i've single handedly eaten the ENTIRE pan. here's my backwards reasoning.

yesterday 9:45 "mmmm....rice crispie treats!"

10:00 am-made the goodies

10:30-licked out the bowl

10:45-enjoyed ahhh-treat....as in uno, eins....

11:15-crept back into the kitchen, side eyed the pan --enjoyed aaaahnother

11:30- WORKED OUT WITH MS. DENISE AUSTIN courtesy of "total body makeover"

12:00 DIET STARTS NOW.....fo real this time.... MOMENT

7:00- husband ate two treats....still 1/3 of the pan left ( I was hoping he would bask in my baking skills and finish it off therefore me leaving me no temptations....rats)

this morning

8:00 entered kitchen groggy to fetch miss lil her bottle and unawaringly ( new word?!) decided to spike my blood sugar with an early morning snack.

10:00 Then came the irrational thought "Finish the pan this morning...get it OUT OF THE HOUSE and you'll no longer be tempted and your diet can start again FO REAL THIS TIME!!

current time--10:45 holding a fork while typing finishing off the last of the rice crispie treats.

FO REAL THIS TIME!!!!!

here is lilly voicing her frustration that i didn't think to share the marshmallow goodness with her....

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnndddd she's over it...

Hold the phones!

TIME OUT!!!! In my world it's not Christmas season unless you sing and dance to this...

Yes, I am completely aware that I'm a loser and a tad on the over-the-top cheesy side. Don't worry, I'm okay with it. :)

you know you love me....xoxo

I love food and I love family...which makes Thanksgiving my favorite holiday. Now don't get me wrong, I love me some Christmas. I love the significance of the holiday, two arm raises to God, thanks for my salvation! However, sometimes I can get caught up in the gift-giving stress and it makes me lose sight of what the holiday truly represents. I get caught up in the "ooooh will he like it? Oh my goodness--how can we afford this? I wish we could give more! Umm....will she get me a gift? I better get one for her just.in.case!! Yea....you know the deal.

With Thanksgiving, there is no gift giving stress-- just food, family, love, PIE, mashed potatoes, games, laughter, parades, floats, ehh..football, gravy...oh the gravy, and memories. I'm big into reflecting. I love to reminisce. While driving down to my parents house on Thanksgiving I compiled a mental list of the things I was most thankful for this year. It was a BIG year for the gambrels. THANK YOU LORD FOR....

1. multi-pack pregnancy tests ( one just wasn't good enough for me...i required 6)

2. my husband who has and will love me unconditionally ( he deserves four gold stars for enduring my hormones during pregnancy)

3. sonic's strawberry limeades and the glorious half price happy hour from 2-4

4. elastic

5. chicken salad...my go to lunch when i realized that they weren't kidding about lunch meat

6. my family and friends, who were there for me when I was excited, ecstatic, scared, happy, weepy, psychotic, nervous, overwhelmed and joyful

7. my anesthesiologist (PTL for him...PTL)
8. narcotics

9. our small group ( a support system within THE largest support system)

10. paradise bakery...paradise bakery...paradise bakery

11. my parents who were there to answer my "Is it normal's? Should I's? What would you do's? I don't know if I can do this's? Do I look chunky's? and Can you help me's???"

12. disposable diapers....nuf' said.

13. my crazy, cuddly, wiggly, beautiful lilly--the biggest and greatest blessing of 2009

14. digital cameras and LARGE memory cards

15. D batteries...the amazing power that makes Lilly's swing addiction possible

16. COOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEE

17. Jeremiah 29:11 (look it up......right now.)

18. upbeat music and it's ability to alter my mood in a positive way.

19. forgiveness
--from my Jesus because I'm a hopeless mess and he loves me anyway
-- from my friends because this baby business has made my hang out sessions and phone calls few and far between
--from my husband for my irrational and endearing behavior ;)
-- from Lilly for being my guinea pig and "well, let's try it!" for EVERYTHING parent related. So sorry bout the tip of your finger during my "I could totally clip your nails while you're awake" phase.
-- to anyone reading this blog, because I've realized that lately, I've been rather longwinded!!!

20. countless baby items that have been essential in keeping this chick alive for the past two months. I could never thank you enough Carters, Playtex, Enfamil, Johnson and Johnson, Fisher Price, and Boppy!!

Now wasn't that fun??? :)

lilly and i just got back from her first adventure to a mall. aaaaaaaaannnndddd more importantly it was her first trip to mommy's favorite store, american eagle. she did great

....as long as the stroller didn't stop moving.



ahhhhhhhhhhh milestones people, milestones.

boom.boom.pow.

80 years ago, Scott's sassy and spunky grandma Max was born. Last night, we celebrated her life and ultimately her legacy with a big party. If I'm being honest, an 80th birthday party is not my ideal way to spend a babyless Saturday night. However this was not your typical "older generation" party. No--no this was a catered dinner with a live band and oh...100+ of Grandma Max's closest friends and family. You know, I hope when I'm 80 I can fill a room with over a hundred people who know and love me. It says a lot about gma max, her character, zest for life, and her all around spunkyness.

Last night, the birthday bash had a jazz band--complete with suspenders, banjos, a large bass (not the fish...), and lead singer with a disco-ball esque dress and a deeeeeeeeeep shade of red lipstick that did NOT compliment her skin tone-thank you very much. They focused on tunes that were popular when gma max was born in 1929. They highlighted top billboard hits from that era and it was actually really enjoyable. The band played songs that Judy Garland sang and were written by Cole Porter and Hoagy Carmicheal. They were light and airy tunes about love, lazy rivers, sunny days, and happiness. It got me thinking....



When Lilly is 80, she will undoubtedly wanna throw a big party, just like her great gma max, no?What kind of songs will she play from "her generation"? I just find it really befuddling that she'll be sitting at a table surrounded by her friends and family and they'll be tapping their feet, bobbing their heads, and listening to tunes entitled: Boom Boom Pow, Russian Roulette, Tik Tok, and Paparazzi.

Will her lead singer of her birthday band resemble the infamous Lady Gaga? ohmygoodness.

I bet it was a surreal thing to think of the year 2009 back in 1929...so far into the future. When my little stinker is 80 years old it will be 2089. (math done correct...whew)Surely they'll be living on Mars by then, riding in flying cars, and Rosie the robot from the Jetsons will be a reality.

boom.boom.pow.

bingo-bongo!

YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

Below are my embarassing shenanigans required to get a simple smile from this giggle box. If you enjoy watching a grown woman speak in an increasingly high pitched voice, create nonsense words, and FAIL at holding a camera steady....please enjoy!

Let's talk smiles.

Smiling is the universal language. It every culture, country, and galaxy it means the same thing. Happiness. Pleasure. Enjoyment.

In elementary school, a smile means an insta-friend. A smile across a classroom or from a swing on the playground means one thing. It starts with a smile and if it is reciprocated back...bam. friends.

In high school, a smile from a passing mcdreamy boy could alter your entire day. It could change your entire focus and embark you on a rollercoaster of emotions of deciphering what that exact smile "meant".

As adults, smiles are exchanged between lovers, friends, co-workers, and strangers. Each smile can mean something different. A hello, good-bye, i love you, i'm so glad you're here, you're hilarious, you look beautiful, you have something in your teeth.... A smile means happiness. However, the first smile from your child means something entirely different...I am not kidding when I say the first time Lilly smiled at me ( not the gassy or dreaming kind) it changed my life. A smile from a baby does not only mean happiness, to me it was a joy-injected I love you and thank you.

I was sitting on the couch with little miss balanced on my legs. She is soothed by music so I had CMT on and we were counting down the top twenty. I had to see if Carrie was number one. She was, der. I may or may not have been signing....:) I was moving her arms and legs to the music and she was staring at me intently. I lifted her arms in the air to match the raise of pitch in the song and then she smiled-- eyes squinting, cheeks puffing, gums glaring. It was beautiful and instantly brought tears to my eyes. It was the same flooding emotion that I felt the first time I saw lilly in the hospital--immediate and overwhelming.

To me, that smile meant a number of things. It meant she was happy, she loved me, and it meant that she appreciates all that we do for her. For the past 7 weeks, we have spent almost every waking moment caring for her. All the while, the only true emotions we've seen from her were displeasure, hunger, and pain via crying. I would NEVER trade any moment of my time with her these past seven weeks....but ya know, it's hard not seeing any happiness emitted. I'm not saying that Lilly hasn't been happy for the past seven weeks. How could she not? She's been loved on everyday all day by very awesome people ::wink::. Up until that smile, she had not been able to show her happiness. I needed it. That smile was confirmation that we are doing things right. That smile was her way of communicating her love. To be completely honest, it was a turning point in our relationship. My love for her grew deeper. I was consumed with joy myself after seeing it. I craved another!!! Britney was singing over and over in my mind "gimme more, gimme me, gimme gimme more!" I was hooked, and her smile was my drug.

This happened about a week ago. I've seen lots of smiles since. I have to act like a complete ding-dong to get them, and if you were spying on me in my house I would be completely embarrassed. You'd think that I had 'dun lost my mind'. I ALMOST caught a smile in the picture but ::sigh::, I was a second too late. My dern camera just isn't fast enough for my darlin.


I WILL CATCH ONE THIS WEEK. *SWER*


:):):):):):)

The inside workings of an infant are perplexing...and I'm determined to figure this babe out.

While pregnant, I remember thinking about Lilly and how our life would be. Being a teacher, I have plans. FOR EVERYTHING. On Monday morning, I walk in and have the entire week planned out. BY THE HOUR. I know exactly what I need to get done and how I'm going to get it done. I have lists of supplies I need and so on. While not on paper, I have a back up plan for when things don't go as originally planned. Occasionally, I have a back up-back up plan if plan A and plan B fail. So likewise, I had (keyword: HAD) a plan for when little miss Lilly arrived. Here is how I had everything planned out....

Plan A
1. I would nurse Lilly
2. I would pump and let Scott feed her at night when he was home
3. She would grow and be happy 80% of the time. She'd only be fussy when she was hungry or needed her diaper changed.

OKay....that planned tanked before we were even out of the hospital. Thanks, body. After getting over the original disappointment of that plan failing, I formed Plan B. Plan B
1. We would feed Lilly formula
2. We would use the bottles I received from my shower, the kind all my friends recommended
3. I would become super saver and use the coupons that I signed up for online.
4. I would get bonus points because I also signed up my mom and mother-in-law. :)
5. She would grow and be happy 80% of the time. She'd only be fussy when she was hungry or needed her diaper changed.

PLAN B---FAIL.
So here I am PLANLESS and trying to figure out this chick. The inside workings of an infant are perplexing. I know more now about my baby's digestive system than I thought I ever would. I really should get college credit for all this knowledge I'm obtaining. No, I'm serious.

All plans thrown out the window, this is what I know...

Lilly is in pain when she eats and it BREAKS.MY.HEART. that I don't know how to fix it. Here is what we've tried via our pediatricians recommendations...
1. Switch to a partially broken down formula--easier to digest
2. Spend a small fortune buying differing types of bottles
3. Try different nipples
4. Burp more frequently
5. Mylicon at every meal


No changes. She possibly has a milk-protein allergy. I've read that many babies cannot easily digest the proteins found in cow's milk. So we begrudgingly switched to the soy formula. And let me say this.......HOLY COW IT IS FLIPPIN EXPENSIVE!!!! How can SOY formula be double the cost of regular formula?? Somewhere, some exec at Enfamil is sitting on a big fat pile of gold coins (I imagine like the opening scene where uncle scrooge is swimming in the gold safe on Duck Tales....you know you remember it!! Whooooowooo!) and thinking...


"Parents of infants with milk allergies will stop at nothing to soothe their babies. They are emotionally drained and willing to do whatever it takes to help. ::rubbing hands together in a menacing way:: Let's make the soy hypo-allergenic formula DOUBLE the price!! Muahahahahaha."

Evil. Jerks.

So here I with my non-plan plan... and so far...(fingers crossed-- praying to God above) it is working and I'm seeing relief for her.

1. We are paying an arm and a leg for her 12.6 ounce can of formula.
2. Giving her a once-a-day dose of medicine for reflux
3. Keeping her upright for at least 20 minutes after each meal
4. I RELY ON THE COUPONS and get uber excited when they arrive.
5. My target runs are strictly for groceries now... because of lack of moolah due to formula( so sad) The accessory aisle is so lonely without me.

6. She is growing and HAPPY 80% of the time. She is fussy when she's hungry, needs a diaper change, is bored, wants a cuddle, and if it is between 7-8pm. Hey, I was a complete ignoramus to HONESTLY think that a baby would only cry for two reasons.

Here is a picture of the happier Lilly. P.S. she's smiling now....I'll blog about that life-changing experience later. :) !!!!

babies cry for many reasons, but never to make you unhappy.



directions:
read out loud daily, rinse, repeat

:)

cue hallelujah chorus

HALLELUJAH!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!

Lilly slept through her late night feeding the past two nights in a row!!!

I feel so refreshed. I don't know if it's possible, but I love the little monster even more on mornings like this. Happy Halloween to me! and you of course...

I really needed this little pick me up. Four nights ago, Lilly screamed bloody murder....ohh....for about 2.5 hours. She had just been fed, changed, cuddled, and swaddled. Talk about anxiety! I had no clue what was going on with her. Nothing seemed to comfort the poor child. I kinda lost it....(surprised?) and got really overwhelmed. I walked her around the house (waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!), I bounced her (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!), I put her in her swing which she loves 99% of the time (waaaaaah!), offered her another ounce of food (waaaaaaaaaaaaaah), and sang disney songs. Come on, who doesn't get cheered up by A Whold New World?! (waaaaaaaaah!). Then, holy mother cow, she let out the biggest fart. Oh? Then another (waaaaaaah!), and another (waaaaaaaaah), then two ginormous college boy burps. Ahhhh....gas!!! To make a rather long and exhausting night story shorter...it was gas. I heart mylicon. I thought she was dying. I went through half a box of kleenex. Gas went away. Happy girl again.

Motherhood is a trip in my opinion--sorta like falling UP the stairs. You're walking along enjoying every minute of it. Everything is on the ups! You love your child, your husband, and everything baby. Then ..!!!BAM!!! you trip going up the stairs. You have no clue how it happened. You feel pain like you've never felt and everything you were carrying goes flying!! Your whole world is discombobulated for a while. You THOUGHT you knew how to walk up stairs, but apparently you don't. You feel utterly confused and at times feel like just rolling the rest of the way down. You don't, you stand back up, gather your belongings and brusied pride and keep on going. You get a few more steps up and realize that its HILLARIOUS when people fall going up the stairs. You turn around, face flushed from embarassment and laughter and pray that noone was watching. :)

happy halloween!

meet lilly, the hotdog

Remember when I told you Lilly was FRANK breech in utero? Whooopps....

Every mom needs a file labeled "embarass your daughter later" right?? RIGHT! My parents have a drawer full of VHS's of them...dang. The drawer includes videos of me dressing up in my mother's dance costumes running around the backyard singing nonsense songs and screaming "EEEOOOP!" (apparently I spoke a lanugage only I could comprehend), throwing fits, bossing around my brother, the cat, my parents, anyone who seemingly had a pulse (firstborn, ok?), and even including a segment where I run around the house and proceed to relieve myself in the kitchen calling it "awcky awcky".::We need a video camera..STAT!::
So, to keep the tradition alive, I've begun my "file" for miss lilly. This costume belongs to my dear friend, Holly. Both of her boys wore this for their first Halloween. We don't have a costume for Lilly this year, but I couldn't resist putting her in this getup when I visited last week. How wonderful that I'll be able to remince the first time I dressed my daughter up as a weiner.......

Mom: 1
Lilly: 0

I'm sure the score will even out..probably in a public place, or in line at the grocery store, or when a phrase somewhere along the lines of..."my mommy loves high school musical more than me!" jumps out of her mouth. That was just an example.....pure fiction....duh. :)

I never thought I'd...

...take over 400 pictures in 4 weeks

...google "normal baby poop"

...go a month without visiting a mall (i know, right?)

...consistently talk in a high pitched baby voice ( like it REALLY makes a difference to Lilly? WHY do I do this????)

...allow all my R's and L's turn into W's when talking ( my wittle willy woves me..oh lordy, i mean wordy)

...not have the radio on while driving

...get really worried when she won't burp

...get OVERLY OVERJOYED when she does

...love this little face so much!!!!

cuddle mornings

well, i can finally say that things have settled. whew, what a whirlwind the past few weeks were. scott and i have worked out a nice routine for making sure baby girl gets fed at night. scott takes the first two...the 10ish and 1ish, and i take the last two 4ish and 7ish. that way, we each are able to get approx. 6-7ish hours of sleep. it enables us both to function at about 70-80ish% on a daily basis. i know, i know, that's a lot of ISH's but lilly is constantly throwing curve balls at us and right now, i feel like our life is one bit fat ISH. :) Anyway, on to my point....at 7:00 when she grunts and squeaks me awake, i get up, make a pot of coffee, grab an apple, her bottle, and the remote-- and lilly and i settle in for a morning of caffiene, cuddling, and DVR'd tv. Usually it's the shows from the night before since i usually hit the hay by 9-10ISH. So somedays it's xoxo Gossip Girl, other's it 90210, or maybe Grey's, and an occaisonal Housewives of atlanta will squeak it there-- all my shows that I am embarrisingly addicted to.

I.absolutely.love.the.cuddle.mornings.with.lilly

it is by far the best part of my day. she is so squishy and she just molds into my arms. i am really going to miss these moments when i have to return to the dungeon that is my job. ahh...

i took some pictures of lilly yesterday. i used a really cool website to edit them. it is http://www.picnik.com/ . it's a free website that allows you to do some neat stuff...it's the poor gal's version of photoshop. i love taking pictures of lilly. everytime i snap some i think to myself....she will never be this small again. it's so bittersweet. i love that she can see me now, is getting chubbier, and is FINALLY fitting into her newborn clothes. however, i feel like the next time i blink she's going to be begging me for a cell phone so she can text her idk BFF Jill! ahhhhh.

here are some pics of lilly jo. she is three weeks old in them. :)

it's raining
it's pouring

lilly claire is snoring


i wish i was the one snoring. whew, i'm tuckered.

new friday night

I hear the RA-ROCK of the swing in perfect rhythm

the low murmur of the television lulls my husband to an early evening nap

looking across the living room my eyes gaze upon my daughters eyes fluttering, arms twitching, and pink blanket swaying as she rests.

squeeeeeeeak and grrrrunt "is she awake?"

the dishes will wait

the laundry will wait

my cell phone will wait

the full diaper pail CANNOT wait

bummer--two seconds too late, i'll capture that random sleeping smile sometime

my heart is full and my social calendar empty

yes, she's still breathing

new friday night, new friday night, new friday night

OMG I'm a mom!

Let's just let this sink in for a bit................................

Holy baby... I'm a mom and I looooooooooove it.

Lilly is amazing. She has brought out love that I did not know existed. I could sit and hold her all day and just stare. God is amazing and Lilly is a blessing... from her cute bald spot on the top of her head to her extra long second toe ( inherited from momma). Her grunts and squeaks are endearing. Her dirty diapers and uncanny ablitling to time them to perfectly explode on dad almost everytime are comical. Her cheeks are the softest ,most kissable things on the planet. I love the way she melts into my arms when she's sleeping. I adore the way she becomes frantic when she's hungry, but doesn't cry (yet). I'm amazed at the love I feel for my husband when I see him nuzzling her and talking to her and he doesn't know I'm watching. I even appreciate the special times we share when she lovingly wakes me up at 1:00, 3:00, and 5:00.

No doubt about it. These have been the hardest days of my life. I've cried more tears than I thought possible. I don't regret them though. They were tears of joy, confusion, frustration, love, and concern for this beautiful human life that the Lord has entrusted and given to us.

ramblings

i'm on maternity leave. so in honor of not being a teacher for next three months, i have decided to forgo capitalization. mmmkkay? :)

normally when i sit down to write, i have a plan...a general idea of what i want to write about-- a theme, an issue, a worry, anyway. today i don't have a plan. instead, i'd like to just let you enjoy the random ramblings and thoughts of my very pregnant brain.

i.....laura elizabeth gambrel....am a control freak. let's be honest, i like to control a lot of things. i like to control my day, my students, my appearance, my weight, my schedule, scott (shh..don't tell him) , my free time, and various other things. on the last day of my pregnancy, i've realized that there is ABSOLULTELY nothing you can control with pregnancy. NOTHING! i think that might be part of the reason why, at times, it has been hard for me. i'm not going to be able to control everything ( like i wish i could) when lilly is here either. it's been a long nine months of the Lord telling me, "laura, give up your white knuckled grip on your life! you're not in control anyway, I AM!" you'd think that i woulda realized this before now. but i am a control freak AND i am stubborn. :) so the past few days has been filled with a lot of prayer. the Lord has blessed scott and I immensely. it's time that i really, honestly, and truly just GIVE IT UP. So here we are...day one. i'm along for the ride, Lord....let me know when we're there.


i love carrie underwood. i heard that her new single is about tony romo. it makes sense!! COWBOY casanova?! speaking of my friend carrie, yesterday i was singing to my iPod while attempting to clean and not fall over. a struggle. i love carrie's songs because she rocks, but i also love her because her range is perfect for me. not to high...not to low. i feel like i can 'kinda' keep up with her. anyway.....singing very pregnant is hard! i could sing maybe 3-4 words and i would get so out of breath! lilly was probably thinking "mom, give it up! you're going to give yourself an asthma attack and all this breathing is shaking me all around! i'm not going to flip, give.it.up!" I just couldn't though. i was all inspired and super excited for her new album. (november 2nd in case you were wondering). when carrie gets a grip on you, you just havta sing. holly knows what i'm talkin bout! :)

confession: i haven't cooked a true meal in over two months. tonight i am going to. i'm going to make my amazing husband a meal that will knock his socks off. the last night of "just the two of us" shouldn't include our regular dinner of pb and j (scott)and tostinos pizzas (laura) . i'm pullin out the big guns (and my dusty pots and pans) tonight. hopefully i don't set the house on fire!

pray for me tomorrow morning! i'm still scared to death about the c-section. pray also that scott doesn't have a date with the tile floor in the OR. i need him! more than he'll ever know...

this time tomorrow, i'll be carrying my daughter on the OUTSIDE. holy crap. sitting here feeling her kicks and nudges makes me a little sad. i'm gonna miss this. a new chapter is beginning, my pregnancy is ending (hallelujah), and i'm not in control.


love-love

told ya i was going to ramble ;)

is it just me or is this week going extremely s.....l......o.......w........?

five days for those counting down...five days

How far along? 38 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: definitely more than I planned, but WHATEVER. +45
Maternity clothes? : clothes in general don't work right now
Stretch marks? so far no....5 days to remain stretchie free

Best moment this week: finally listening to my dr. and going on maternity leave early and receiving a beautiful diamond necklace from scott.
Movement: She isn't moving as much as in previous weeks. She has the hiccups a few times a day though. Each little stretch hurts, however I'm not ready for that feeling to be gone. No matter how much it hurts.

Food cravings: oh....everything.
Labor Signs:I've had contractions for most of this week. I've never been so miserable.

Belly Button in or out? flat
What I miss: Can't wait for Jimmy Johns, sleeping on my back, and wearing my wedding rings

What I am looking forward to: lilly's birth in 5 days and having people come meet her at the hospital

Weekly Wisdom: If your dr. tells you not to work anymore because it's causing you anxiety and high blood pressure, listen to her. I figured out you don't get extra prego points for being stubborn and bull headed...you just get more contractions and pain. dang.

Milestones: the biggest milestone will be friday, ya'll.

I tried to take some artsy pregnancy pics yesterday. Here are my favorites. :)

Yes, you're right. I liked all the ones where you couldn't see my face. 9 month pregnant face isn't fun or flattering, folks.

i spent all day today having irregular contractions.
i realized...

that. this. is. really. going. to. happen.


:) :) :) :)

today around 2:30 i had a chat with little lilly. i simply let her know that momma has a fun saturday planned. she needs to remain cozy for 3 more days. that's it.

I'm ready.....pretty sure.....maybe

When people ask, "So are you ready?" How are you really supposed to respond? Usually my answer to that question is " Of course I am ready!" Because honestly, people probably don't want to hear my honest answer to that question. My honest answer, should I ever decide to give it would be....

"HECK NO! Were you ready when you became a mother for the first time? Is ANYONE really ever truly ready for all the changes about to come pouring down? I'm scared out of my mind, can't you see it in my eyes?" If by ready they meant materialistically, then by all means I'm ready! Oh girl, you know I've spent the past nine months scouring aisles I never knew existed. Lilly has more gadgets and gizmos than Radio Shack. Her closet is brimming. She has who's its and what's its galore. You want thingamabob's? She's got plenty (Sorry, I just had to continue with the Ariel Love). I'm the queen of getting stuff in order and making lists.

I'm so excited to be a mom, but I'd be a big fat liar if I didn't say that I'm more scared than excited. Right now, thoughts of Lilly consume my mind. How will I handle these changes? How will Scott and I react? Will people judge me on how I react? I hope that I'll be able to glide right into motherhood. But I don't know that I will. What if I struggle? I'm dreaming about breastfeeding for Pete's sake!!! What if I'm afraid to ask for help? What if , what if, what if. When students in my class ask all the what if questions, I get frustrated with them, and usually cut them off saying, "boys and girls we could what if' ourselves till we are blue in the face. Let's not worry about something that might not happen. Let's just move on." However, here I am doing the same thing. Funny.

I've seen numerous friends transition to the world of parenting seemingly with ease. Did they have the same fears and excitements that I do now? How would/ did they respond to the question, "Are you ready?"

If you ask, I'll say yes. But now you know...

d day....i mean c day.

3 weeks
21 days
504 hours
30,240 minutes
1,814,400 seconds

until Lilly is born!


Tuesday we had an appt and ultrasound to check on my dear breech baby. She's content and staying where she's at. She's in a frank breech position. Which means that she's contorted her body to look like an all-beef frank. jjjj/kkkk. No really, she's sitting in my ute like V. Butt down. She's literally kicking herself in the face. We'll have a little chat about this when she arrives. :)

We met with the dr. after the ultrasound and she walked in, opened up her calendar, and said "pick her birthday!" It was the most surreal thing! Talk about pressure! At first we (scott and I) just looked at each other with dumb grins on our faces. I was giggling like a nutso. He resembled a deer in headlights. After we were over our flash-back to middle school, we ended up choosing Friday, September 25th.

I'm doing much better with my fears of c-section. I'm still nervous and am sure there will be tears the morning of, but I'm just trying to focus on the fact that I'm doing the best thing for Lilly. I can't very well let her enter this beautiful world arse first. That's not very lady-like now is it....


Three weeks until our lives are forever changed. Ahhhh!!! :) :) :) :)

end of my 8th montharoo

How far along? 35 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: up 38 (sheesh!) It is hard for me to admit that.

Maternity clothes? : oh good lord, yes

Stretch marks? surprisingly, no!
Sleep: Takes 6 pillows

Best moment this week: putting together her swing and realizing in a MONTH she will be in it.

Movement: Lots! I've figured out her sleep and awake patterns I think.
Food cravings: burritos and orange juice ( not together!)

Labor Signs: I *think* I've had some Braxton Hicks contractions. I'm not sure though.

Belly Button in or out? Flat as a pancake!

What I miss: Bending over without feeling like I'm going to do a face plant
What I am looking forward to: Going to a Reds game today ( a little worried about the comfort issue), meeting Lilly in a few weeks, and my maternity leave. Teaching + being waaaay pregnant=not much fun.

Weekly Wisdom: Accessories are fun to buy when pregnant because they always fit! :)

Milestones: I schedule Lilly's C-Section on Wednesday. Holy mother cow.