Dear teacher in my building,
No, I'm not measuring waaaaaayyyyy ahead like you claim. I'm sorry you think I'm huge. I'm measuring right on time. I guess that just means you think I'm fat. Thanks. And to answer your second question; no, there is nothing wrong with me because I would perfer not to have a c-section.
I know you didn't ask but...
No, I do not like you right now.
Crinkling my nose at you and thinking ornery thoughts,