I've been waiting for something. I'm waiting for the day when it all comes together. The day when I finally get my ISH together and have a clean home, quiet time when it is actually quiet, an empty sink for longer than 10 minutes, a minute to exercise without a toddler attempting to jump on me, and most importantly a floor free of crumbs, rouge princess shoes, half eaten goldfish, and angry dust bunnies.
Let me guess.....it's never going to happen.
There are four things that I desperately desire as a mom/wife/crazy person
1. happy family
2. artistic outlet
3. healthy body
4. clean home
I can successfully have three out of the four at any given time. However it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to have all four at once. I've been trying. Ohhhhhhh have I been trying. for approximately my 30 years. Failing each year----at something different.
For the past 4 years I put having a healthy body on the back burner....hell it wasn't even on a burner. It was buried under Dr. Pepper, ice cream binges, and Mc Donald's cheeseburgers! It wasn't important to me and I was too lazy to put in the work to change.
As time when on it was apparent that an unhealthy body had a negative effect on my "happy family". My kids were happy----but Scott and I weren't. We weren't unhappy. We weren't having troubles....but we weren't the best we could be. I was dragging us down. My self hate and victim talk wore us both out. I'd whine about not fitting in clothes. I'd cry about how ugly I felt. I'd complain and negate any compliment given to me. I'd given up......and it effected our family.
Making the change this summer to work towards a healthier me has been awesome. I'm so motivated and encouraged by the changes I see in my body. I'm down 28 pounds as of today! ::fist bumps!!:: My relationship with my husband is improving because of a self confidence that is emerging from me. I feel good. Can I shout that? I FEEL DANG GOOD!!
Choosing to lose weight takes up time. I have to schedule time for exercise. I have to schedule time to actually make meals. It takes a lot more planning. A lot more effort. I'm so happy that I've stuck with it. Ooooh goodness was it tough in the beginning!! So many nights I wanted to just quit----but this time I didn't. I knew that I couldn't make the changes I wanted to make on my own. I'm a weakling. I prayed for the Lord to help me. He's given me strength---it's so great to just GIVE those problems to Him. Can I get really honest, it's probably the first time I've TRULY done that. Heyoooooo control freak.
But I can't do it all---something's gotta give.
1. happy family ( yes!! love my boogers)
2. artistic outlet ( painting my side table PLUM this evening....twelve types of excited!)
3. healthy body (werrrrrrkin on it.......)
4. clean house ( FAILURE. FAILURE. FAILETY. FAILLLLLLLL)
There are cheerios all over my house. Crusted food and crayon marks on my walls. Multiple piles of laundry to be done and NONE of them actually in a hamper. Dishes in the sink from last night. LAST. NIGHT.
But I can't have it all.
You don't, right?????!!!!
Or is it just me...
or should I hire a cleaning service.
it only makes sense.
