Friday, September 20, 2013

It has to happen-----or I'm getting a maid

I've been waiting for something. I'm waiting for the day when it all comes together.  The day when I finally get my ISH together and have a clean home, quiet time when it is actually quiet, an empty sink for longer than 10 minutes,  a minute to exercise without a toddler attempting to jump on me, and most importantly a floor free of crumbs, rouge princess shoes, half eaten goldfish, and angry dust bunnies.

Let me's never going to happen.

There are four things that I desperately desire as a mom/wife/crazy person

1. happy family
2. artistic outlet
3. healthy body
4. clean home

I can successfully have three out of the four at any given time. However it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to have all four at once. I've been trying. Ohhhhhhh have I been trying. for approximately my 30 years. Failing each year----at something different.

For the past 4 years I put having a healthy body on the back burner....hell it wasn't even on a burner. It was buried under Dr. Pepper, ice cream binges, and Mc Donald's cheeseburgers! It wasn't important to me and I was too lazy to put in the work to change.

As time when on it was apparent that an unhealthy body had a negative effect on my "happy family". My kids were happy----but Scott and I weren't. We weren't unhappy. We weren't having troubles....but we weren't the best we could be. I was dragging us down. My self hate and victim talk wore us both out. I'd whine about not fitting in clothes. I'd cry about how ugly I felt. I'd complain and negate any compliment given to me. I'd given up......and it effected our family.

Making the change this summer to work towards a healthier me has been awesome. I'm so motivated and encouraged by the changes I see in my body. I'm down 28 pounds as of today!  ::fist bumps!!::  My relationship with my husband is improving because of a self confidence that is emerging from me. I feel good. Can I shout that? I FEEL DANG GOOD!!

Choosing to lose weight takes up time. I have to schedule time for exercise. I have to schedule time to actually make meals. It takes a lot more planning. A lot more effort. I'm so happy that I've stuck with it. Ooooh goodness was it tough in the beginning!! So many nights I wanted to just quit----but this time I didn't. I knew that I couldn't make the changes I wanted to make on my own. I'm a weakling. I prayed for the Lord to help me. He's given me strength---it's so great to just GIVE those problems to  Him.  Can I get really honest, it's probably the first time I've TRULY done that. Heyoooooo control freak.

But I can't do it all---something's gotta give.

1. happy family ( yes!! love my boogers)
2. artistic outlet ( painting my side table PLUM this evening....twelve types of excited!)
3. healthy body (werrrrrrkin on it.......)

There are cheerios all over my house. Crusted food and crayon marks on my walls. Multiple piles of laundry to be done and NONE of them actually in a hamper. Dishes in the sink from last night.  LAST. NIGHT.

But I can't have it all.

You don't, right?????!!!!

Or is it just me...

or should I hire a cleaning service.

it only makes sense.


  1. Oh my gosh that is my life! I want all 4 of those things too. {we seem to be very similar!} and my house is a disaster but we are also in the process of moving so of course it is a disaster. All your recent posts are like mirrors of what I want or need to or should write. I am so glad you are including us blog readers in your life right now. Because you give me hope that someday I'll be there too.

    1. I can't imagine how stressed out you must be with moving and packing....whewwwwww.

  2. Girl, I don't even have kids and my house is a disaster. You can only squeeze so much into a day. I can go to work, come home, cook, clean and yell at my hubby. OR I can go to work, come home, (maybe cook), and enjoy some time with my hubby. We just can't have it all.

    1. Wish that was easier to accept than it is!! :) I want it all.......hahah.