I'm mad at myself. Mad as in--I'm annoyed at myself and wish I could get away from me...for a long time. I'd like to pack a bag and become someone else for a few days. I just had an appointment with my doctor. All day I was looking forward to it. I enjoy going because I get to hear her heartbeat, and OH how I love that. No no--not today, Mrs. Laura.Emotional.Self-Absorbed.Vain.Bia decided to go to the appointment. I stepped on the scale per usual and allowed the skyrocketing number to consume the rest of the appointment. I hardly even remember listening to her heartbeat because I was so freaked about about my weight gain. SERIOUSLY LAURA...GET A GRIP. I have a healthy baby girl with a strong heartbeat, and all I could think about was "Wow. You're getting fat. You're just halfway. You're going to look like a blimp in your brother's wedding. People will probably talk about you behind your back and pitty how swollen you've gotten. All that walking is really paying off. NOT!" How annoying am I? It's so like me.
As I'm tying this, the anger is subsiding and it's more sadness. I let a joyful moment get ruined because I was transfixed on my appearance and figure (or lack there of).
I fail for the day. Cool pregnancy. Cool hormones.
Do the body image issues ever go away?
Better luck tomorrow.
I just wanted to tell you that your blog is so cute! You are simply adorable. Glad to hear that your little girl is healthy. :-) Don't let that doctor's appointment get you upset. I think it's normal to be taken back by the amount of weight you gain when you are pregnant (not that I would know but it seems like it would be). You will bounce right back after you have her. Just keep being your cute, bubbly self. Hope you and Scott are doing well. :-)
ReplyDeleteLaura...hehe. You're so cute! Seriously...SO FREAKIN CUTE! You look beautiful pregnant. I remember going through the same thing with Cash -- I had one appt where I had gained 11 lbs in a month! And I did it with this one too. I know its really hard not to worry about that, but PLEASE try not to sweat it. Your body's going to gain what it needs to sustain a healthy pregnancy and you WILL lose it. Without even trying. I promise.
ReplyDeleteBUT...that being said, I had horrible body image issues after having Cash. I compared myself to EVERYONE who had ever had a baby and was pretty sure I was the only one that didn't lose all the baby weight in the first month. First of all - it takes awhile. But now looking back at pictures from last summer, I didn't look bad at all. It takes 9 months to put it on and it'll take maybe that long to take it off. The pay-off is that beautiful baby you'll be carting around.
You're beautiful, your baby is beautiful and healthy - and thats all that matters. :)