You know the feeling where everything seems to fall into place? You're where you were meant to be doing what you were meant to do. You feel alive, joyful, at peace, and exuberant. The first time I felt this feeling was in college working at a summer camp teaching 6th graders about Jesus' love for them. I felt this way on my wedding day and again while holding my daughter for the first time. Being an emotion led woman causes me to cherish these moments where life seems to fall in place--knowing very well that there is no chance to any of this. It's orchestrated by my loving God. This Saturday I participated in my first outdoor handmade market. It was a great day. A day where I felt like I was truly being myself--no pretending. no masks. just me.....selling things that I think are pretty--that I made.
I'd be flat out lying right now if I told you that everything leading up to the market was puppies and rainbows--good Lord it was NOT. I have major self-confidence struggles. There were many moments where I could not be convinced that the preparing and work was worth it. After my adorable handmade chalkboard sign fell off a table last Tuesday and shattered into a million pieces I was ready to call the wonderful folks putting on the market and pull from the show all together. I melted into a puddle and I allowed all the you're not good enough's, your accessories won't sell, you'll lose money, no one will even visit your booth, you're a joke thoughts enter my mind. I went to bed convinced I would fall flat.
Luckily I have a wonderful "Laura Team" that talks me out of giving up...and slaps the sense into me that I desperately need. I'm so grateful for them. They never give up on me---even though I easily give up on myself.
Friday night I went to bed and prayed. I didn't really know what to pray for....Dear God, Let me make a lot of money cuz I worked hard??. Dear God, help me not to puke because I'm so nervous????? Dear God, please bring cute babies to my booth that need accessorizing?? Everything seemed immature and selfish.
I prepared. I made quality items that I thought were pretty, practical, and thoughtful. There was nothing else I could control--except for my attitude. I ended up praying to SHINE. I prayed that I would be filled with the JOY that only comes from Him.
I woke up feeling confident. The day was wonderful from beginning to end. Participating in this market was never about making millions. It was about doing something that I love. Making handmade accessories is something I'm passionate about. Setting up shop and playing store is just about all the fun that I can handle. I felt like I was bursting with happiness all day.
It was a lot of work that resulted in a lot fun that brought me to a point of feeling like I was ALIVE, FULL OF JOY, and DOING SOMETHING THAT WAS 'ME'. If you happen to be reading this and were there on Saturday, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for saying hello. Thank you for looking. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for a wonderful day.
:) :) :) :)