Monday, August 13, 2012

transitions ((celebrating and struggling))

 I should be in a classroom right now. I should be surrounded by 20 students asking me where to put their dry erase markers, if they can get a drink a water, and when lunch and recess starts. I should be really excited and really stressed starting a new school year. I should be teary eyed  leaving my children with a caregiver.  I should be teaching----but I'm not.

Our family decided that I should take a year maternity leave. Many sacrifices were made and a big lesson on faith is being learned. Last spring when the decision was finalized and papers were signed I was ecstatic. A whole year home with my babies. A whole year not plagued with stress of a demanding job. A whole year of relying on the Lord and learning about myself. I was doing the happy happy joy dance all day every day.

And I am. HOME.  :)

and it's scary.

and fun.

 I feel like this is exactly where I should be.  I love this time at home with my children.  The Lord is teaching me so much about faith and love and forgiveness already and it's only week three.

He's taught me how to rely on Him with I feel lonely.

He's taught me that it's okay not to be perfect.

He's taught me that I can't do it all.

and that a dr. pepper and 10 minutes of overlapping naps is glorious.

I'm melancholy thinking about the excitement, promise, and hope of a new school year. I'm thinking about my dear friend s and co-workers a lot.  I'm wondering how much my students remember from last year.  Did I make an impact?  While I'm full of hope about my  new normal---it's bittersweet walking away from my life of the past 7 years.

Transitions are always exciting.  This year I'm moving  forward with a newborn in my arms, a toddler clinging to my leg, a husband holding my hand, and a savior guiding my heart.  I don't know where this year will take my life as a mom/homemaker, my career as a teacher, or passion for  my handmade business----but I'm taking a deep breath and going.

What transitions are you going through?


  1. I did the same thing after Lilly-Belle was born and it was such a gift to be home with her and Colson that year. I went back after a year, taught 2 yrs, and now plan to do the same thing when #3 arrives in December.

    It really does teach you to depend on God for strength because He knows we do not have it all ourselves. Enjoy this time!

  2. I am trying to prepare myself, my husband and my 2 y/o son, Zane, for the arrival of my daughter in November! I am worried about so many different things once she makes her appearance. I want my son to know that my love for him is deeper than ever and it continues to grow each and but I am so worried that once Lilah is here he's going to feel neglected & not as loved as before! And I have NO idea how to go about figuring out what to do. I have noticed him acting out a little bit more lately and I can't tell if it is because he is 2 or because he knows a change is coming and it makes him uncomfortable! So I am learning every day how to stop and ask God to just give Zane peace & to know that his mommy and daddy love him and will always love him!

    It is hard to let everything go and had it over to God! But I am trying really hard.

  3. This is a beautiful post.

    Life is full of times of transitions. I'm glad you are getting to take this time with your precious children even though there are aspects of it that are hard.

    I'm about to transition into college. School begins two weeks from today. It is bringing major transitions in my life. I'm excited with a dash of nervousness. And, I know it will be good yet also growing.

  4. I'm currently on leave because Zach took a new job. It's the most terrifying and wonderful feeling being a full time mama. We should hang out :)