I should be in a classroom right now. I should be surrounded by 20 students asking me where to put their dry erase markers, if they can get a drink a water, and when lunch and recess starts. I should be really excited and really stressed starting a new school year. I should be teary eyed leaving my children with a caregiver. I should be teaching----but I'm not.
Our family decided that I should take a year maternity leave. Many sacrifices were made and a big lesson on faith is being learned. Last spring when the decision was finalized and papers were signed I was ecstatic. A whole year home with my babies. A whole year not plagued with stress of a demanding job. A whole year of relying on the Lord and learning about myself. I was doing the happy happy joy dance all day every day.
And now......here I am. HOME. :)
and it's scary.
I feel like this is exactly where I should be. I love this time at home with my children. The Lord is teaching me so much about faith and love and forgiveness already and it's only week three.
He's taught me how to rely on Him with I feel lonely.
He's taught me that it's okay not to be perfect.
He's taught me that I can't do it all.
and that a dr. pepper and 10 minutes of overlapping naps is glorious.
I'm melancholy thinking about the excitement, promise, and hope of a new school year. I'm thinking about my dear friend s and co-workers a lot. I'm wondering how much my students remember from last year. Did I make an impact? While I'm full of hope about my new normal---it's bittersweet walking away from my life of the past 7 years.
Transitions are always exciting. This year I'm moving forward with a newborn in my arms, a toddler clinging to my leg, a husband holding my hand, and a savior guiding my heart. I don't know where this year will take my life as a mom/homemaker, my career as a teacher, or passion for my handmade business----but I'm taking a deep breath and going.
What transitions are you going through?