Sunday, January 3, 2010

woe is me part two

Remember this? WOE!

Time for another....I'm just going completely me for a minute. No sugar coating. No looking on the "bright side" of things. TOMORROW IS GOING TO SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm dreading it. I've been dreading it since Lilly was born. I go back to work tomorrow. I go back to 23 OTHER kids who are expecting me to teach them something of worth. I go back to coworkers who are depending on me. I go back to an administration expecting things of me. I LEAVE LILLY WITH SOMEONE ELSE TOMORROW. SUCK!!! I don't want to. I thought I might be one of those women who loves their babies....but enjoys going back to work. Noooooopppppeeee..don't think so. I'm not going to be there when she wakes up from her morning nap all smiley and cooey tomorrow. SUCK!! She's going to go from THA CENTER OF my someone else's 1 of 5. I know, I know I'll adjust. Duh, but that still doesn't make RIGHT now feel any better. I get to pick her up. She'll still know me, love me, and spit up on me. :) I know, I know. But waaaaaaaaaaah, I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE HER.

And another woe. I can't wear sweats to school tomorrow. SUCK! I'm one of 'those' girls who has to pick out her outfit the night before. As a kid, I would lay out the entire outfit on my floor complete with socks, shoes, and any accessories needed (back then I rocked the awwweeesssome balloon scrunchie/barrettes). I had this little barbie doll head ( no not a doll, just the head) that I would place inside the shirt as if it were my head. Ay ay oiu. I don't go to that EXTREME these days, but I do hang the outfit on my bathroom door so I'm all ready to go in the morning. If I neglect this preparation....woahhhhh does my morning get 1,000,000 times more hectic and I usually end up blowing up at Scott over milk or my shoes or something. It's I try to prevent it. Well.....SUCK! None of my dress shirts fit. SUCK SUCK!! Just one more tally mark on my 'reasons to quit eating cause I'm sad and lose this weight' list.

Did I mention that I'm dreading tomorrow? In my teacher bag I have 5 frames of lil pics, a bag of mints, waterproof mascara, and a lean cuisine.

I can't wait for the munchkin to wake up from her nap. I wanna hug and kiss and snuggle with my baybeeeeee. I KNOW I'll be fine. I KNOW lilly will be fine. I KNOW that it will just take some time. I KNOW I'll be happy again. But you know what? It's alright for me to be mopey and sad. I'm going to be all WOE! and Boo! and SUCK! tonight. waaaahhhh.


  1. I'm very sad for you :-( I hope your first day went okay. At least you have that little gal's face to look forward to at the end of the day!

  2. i've been thinking about you today. i sure hope your first day back went smoothly. i'm sure lilly was thriled to see you when you picked her up. :-)